Editor A Capitalist Puppet

Sir,—You are not a Communist as stated by "Auremmagis Rire Desideranda" in the last issue of Salient. The Party would never have you.

I say that you are the mercenary puppet of a subversive Capitalist plot, trying to coax the last zacks from the shrunken purses of starving students, by printing sensationalist "Daily Mirror" type articles.

Small things like correct facts do not matter of course, as long as the little silver coins keep rolling in.

But not to worry. When the Day of the Revolution comes, rest assured that you and your "investigators" will be at the head of the firing squad waiting list.