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Salient: Victoria University Students' Newspaper. Vol. 24, No. 9. 1961

Kinsey Reports..

Kinsey Reports...

New Caf. Chaff: Weekly News cameraman said; "Brilliant! Marvellous! Very good. Good ..." The cafe floor Is too low; patrons complain about having to reach down so far . . . the cashier said; "They're a very fast set—I'm always one down and they're two up ..."

* * *

It's Finished At Last: One Tuesday there was a puddle of water (?) at the top of the stairs—it could have been caused by the nearby firehose, but . . . the heads of the Low Faculty were conducting a meeting in the Common Common Room . . . The new facilities have led to a marked improvement in the prowess of the poker school, the low furniture being extremely suitable for bottom-of-the-deck dealing . . . Meanwhile, the Strip-Jack-Naked class seems to have died a natural death . . . Our co-respondent reports relaxing conditions in the Women's Common Room . . .

* * *

Views from the Hill: On the new building: a female member of Exec, says, "I wish there were more towel-rails to swing from ..." The new custodian: "The cleaning facilities are primitive; whoever's responsible should be strung up"—he has since engaged a firm or commercial cleaners . . . "Disgusting; show me more," was one comment on the Film Society's poster advertising "Wolves' Trap" . . . One of us, in a moment of intellectual stagnation, suggested that the new S.U. building was the worst thing that could have happened to us, what do you think? . . .

* * *

Our Mutual Friends: A few weeks ago, Comrade Flude was accidentally incarcerated in a cupboard in the S.U. building—his vocabulary is very extensive (recordings of same available on request) ... A Science student is so frustrated that he intends to get a job as a warden at Arohata . . . Why does Professor Campbell object to having his lectures tape-recorded? . . .

* * *

Local Mutterings: Graduands' orgy, nothing! Have you seen one of Exec's quiet tea-drinking sessions? . . . Our Weir House reporter tells us that six inmates left recently; one said: "Our knightly activities are being curtailed by food poisoning." . . . The Law Faculty Club was entertained a while back by some slides shown by the Film Censor; the outcome even exceeded the expectation—as one learned gent, put it, "Wow." . . . How many were fooled by the advertisement for the Social Club? One of us was, though we hate to admit it . . . We note that the new edition of Prof. Gordon's "English Prose Technique" claims to have been published by the "University of Wellington"—o tempora, o mores . . .

* * *

A bouquet to the sweet young thing who managed to whistle the National Anthem, after five minutes' prompting, and several false starts . . .

* * *

A brickbat to the oafs who leave papers, cigarette butts, ash, etc., all over the Common Room floors—let's have some action, Mr Dawkins . . .

* * *

Propaganda: This column will be a regular feature of "Salient," if the columnists last that long ... If you have any choice bits of scandal, libel, etc., if you have a friend you would like to do in, if you have anything—write it out and drop it into the "Kinsey Reports ..." Pile at "Salient" office . . .

* * *

Stop Press: Those irresponsible megalomaniacs, the invitation hoaxers, duly attended the Prime Minister's residence recently, to help drink his whisky—naturally, our representatives were there, and we can definitely say that a had time was good by all . . .