We did so. Our plan was to study what the New Testament had to say, discuss its message in the light of the rationalist claims, and pray together.

"I cant Pray!"

"Pray together!" Bill expostulated, "I can't pray; besides I don't believe in a personal God to pray to. You must do the praying, Padre."

"Not a bit," I argued. "You must pray for yourself. If there's a God, it's you He wants to hear talk to Him at this moment, not me!"

"But I've never prayed before. I wouldn't know what to say. I can't possibly do it."

Tell God how you Feel

"I,ve never known you last for words before, Bill!" I countered. "Just tell God how you feel and what you want in your ordinary everyday language. He'll hear. I can't do either your thinking or your praying for you, but I can stand by and help you do them both."

"I'll try."

His first prayer I shall never forget.

"O God, please help Padre to help me. Amen." And so he made his beginning—the beginning that was to end so wonderfully.

A Personal God

We first of all tackled the question of a personal God, and agreed eventually that to believe in an impersonal one was to have a God who was of less importance than ourselves. Personality is the most significant thing we are aware of, so that to make God impersonal is to debunk him altogether. If God Is He must be Personal.

Does God Care?

Then came the question of whether this personal God cared about us, and if so whether He had revealed Himself to us in the Carpenter of Nazareth, Jesus Christ. Was God like Jesus? Bill held strongly that Jesus Christ was only a man; a most unusual man admittedly, but nevertheless a man and nothing more. So we studied the Jesus of History to see how He fitted in with Bill's hypothesis, and found it very difficult to squeeze Him into it. He seemed to burst out of it everywhere as though it were a ready-made suit several sizes too small.

Christ Either God Bad or Mad

Bill agreed with me that there were only three logical alternatives. Jesus Christ was either God, bad or mad. God—the One He claimed to be—(this claim was the immediate cause of His execution. Sec Mark 14: 61-64): Bad—an imposter who, for reasons best known to Himself, claimed deity and got killed for it: Mad—a well-meaning fellow who unfortunately was deluded about His identity; very seriously deluded. Today He would be placed in a mental home.

Christ Merely Good

None of them would Bill accept at first. Surely you could believe in Him simply as Good. I remember one of his prayers at that time: "O God, you know I don't believe in this Jesus of Padre's, but if He is the only One who can help me, please show me. Amen."

I gave him "Who Moved the Stone?" to read—that famous account of an agnostic lawyer who set out to disprove the resurrection of Christ, and, after studying the evidence, ended by being convinced of its truth, and writing in its favour. If Christ rose from the dead (as He prophesied He would) He was clearly not mortal. True man He was, but not mortal man. He was the God-Man: God come down to earth to reveal Himself to human sinners, and through His sacrifice to repeal the law of sin and death.

Arguments Strong

"I had no Idea," Bill ventured one day, "that the Christian arguments were so strong. I imagined that the Rationalists had it all their own way and that Christians were simply traditionalists who accepted myth and legend as though they were proved facts. Now I see that there are facts on the side of Christianity as well."

But he was far from accepting the Christian Faith in toto. He was only accepting the truths of the New Testament that he could see an immediate reason for. Ten days had gone by, and now we faced the death of Christ. Was this a martyrdom or a sacrifice for sin? That was our next milestone. Bill was clear that it was a [unclear: mart], and equality clear that it was not a ransom price paid for men's sins. The one was common sense; the other immoral—the innocent dying for the guilty and the Judge of all the Earth allowing.

The more we studied the record in the Gospels, however, the more we felt that the martyr theory was incapable of explaining all the facts of the story, Jesus failed to reach the standard of a good martyr, for instance, for on the Cross his faith failed, and ho cried out that God had forsaken him. Stephen was an improvement on that: he died radiant. And so with many of the subsequent martyrs. Why this collapse of Jesus faith? It was at such variance with his serene trust in God shown throughout his life.

Sin Separates

If He were bearing men's sins, however, then the story held together. The world's sin had shut out the Father's face as a storm-cloud will the midday sun. The fact that sin separates now had its supreme illustration.

And as for the justice of the innocent suffering for the guilty—it was beside the point. Could you say to Love Incarnate suffering for the one loved: "This is not Just?" For it was not God the Judge punishing Jesus the Saviour for mo the sinner. It was "God in Christ reconciling the world to Himself." (2 Cor. 5:10).

Bill saw it. The logic of the situation compelled him to affirm with St. Paul: "He loved me, He gave Himself for me." Here was the answer to his sin; here the way to forgiveness and cleansing.

"Well, Padre. I now believe in Christianity. How do I become a Christian?" He was astute enough to see that an intellectual grasp of Christian truth was not enough. "The Devils believe—and tremble." wrote St. James. Bill believed, and was very ill at ease.

"You must give yourself to the Christ you now believe in," I replied; "every cell of your body, every fibre of your being—past, present, future; good, bad, indifferent: everything."

There was silence between us for a minute.

Its too Big

"It's too big." He looked me straight in the eyes. "I cant do it."

I didn't see him again for a fortnight except in the distance. He avoided me, and I contented myself with praying in faith that the Good Shepherd would find the last sheep in His own good time.

He did. Bill burst into my study one morning.

"Padre, why was the Chapel locked last night? I wanted to put an end to this frightful struggle I've been having with God, but couldn't get in. In the end I had to go back to my study, and kneel down there to accept Christ. Was that the right thing to do?"

As we chatted together it became quite obvious to me that he had made the real start in the Christian life. His new-found faith made him radiant. There was no possibility of missing the fact that Bill was a transformed person. Soon everyone knew and everyone remarked upon it.

His new faith had brought him intellectual conviction of the Truth, a thorough clean-up of moral failure, the certainty of forgiveness, and a God who was both Friend and Counsellor.