"Elementary"

Holmes Expounds

Sherlock Holmes is at Victoria on the trail of a dangerous state enemy. The Students' Associaton attempted to convince him that there are other likely criminal retreats in New Zealand, but he persisted; and I have had to show him round the College. Watson used to marvel at his comments; so do I (though he is occasionally mistaken—due to the unfamiliar surroundings) and I decided to ask his advice on a certain problem which baffles all students, especially freshers.

"Sir, how do you know the difference between first year students and the college methusalahs? and between faculties?" "Elementary, my dear fellow!" We took our stand in the main vestibule, Holmes putting at his pipe (I haven't liked to point out that smoking inside is forbidden) and he explained.

"And Arts?" I asked.

"A mixture." he replied. "All the vices, none of the virtues except—"

At this moment (it was 4.55) the clock struck and an explosion of students towards the Caf broke his sentence.

And so we may never know what virtues he did find in Arts students. . . .