Socialist or Sat-On?

A Lesson for Beginners

The Scholar is meek and under-developed. His taste in clothes is unnoticeable and his outfit shows signs of much sitting down. He is short sighted, slightly stoped, and absent minded. His hair is ruffled (the Revolutionary's close-cut) and covered by shapeless head-gear, the female's by a scarf. He is found in libraries behind large piles of books.

But at Victoria students of both groups share certain local characteristics. Entrances are placed to catch the maximum wind, so that Victorians clutch hats and papers, and girls push down dresses, as they approach doors or corners. Women students have developed the art of applying make-up and doing their hair without using the mirror; the one in the cloak-room is just large enough for one person, but the lighting democratically evens up such advantages. Most women wear low-heeled shoes—possibly due to inferiority complex. Wellington students are carefully prepared for export storage; there is no drinking water available, so that they undergo gradual dehydration, the only drinks available contain preservatives (of varying strengths), and to complete the process, tobacco is the chief common-room hobby. Victorians are adept at twisting through difficult positions—a skill gained in the cable-car, and probably the reason of their Rugby prowess.

Of course there are other traits—Sherlock Holmes would notice the ability in climbing steps and hills, and the clay-ey look of shoes from visiting the huts, and any citizen will remark on the specially revolutionary etc. tendencies here . . .