page 6

Bachelors and Spinsters Unite!

The Spinsters and Bachelors inaugural bull was one of the most successful functions this college has had for a long time and it is possible that one of the minor alms of the organisers to establish a precedent or two, is likely to be successful.

The proceedings in the Upper Gym opened when the official party entered—Lord and Lady Victoria (Kevin O'Brien in white tie and tails and academic dress, and Paddy Dougherty with a pair of lorgnettes). followed by Lady Gorse-Bush, who was responsible for presenting the debutantes. Lady Gorse-Bush, one of the college's better-known forwards, had a tendency to shuffle in a furtive fashion which hinted at an intention to pretend she was elsewhere, but otherwise acquitted herself with dignity.

After Lady Victoria had been presented with a bouquet, the debutantes, escorted by their partners, made a spectacular entrance. Miss French was notable for a daringly low-cut Parisian gown and her general air of sophistication; Miss Fresher, in palest blue voile, for what could only be described as a virginal appearance; Miss Fine Arts, for a pale and interesting complexion; Miss Classics, for her Junoseque figure: and Miss "Salient" for the one red rose which she said nestled at her bosom. The van was brought up by Miss Geography in an unsuitably adult gown, who emulated the open-air type. All the young ladles managed their curtsies to perfection, with the exception of Miss Geography, who fell sideways.

After Lord Victoria's little homily the debutantes performed one of the highlights of the evening, the Spectacular Mass Curtsey, which was followed by the Debutantes" Waltz.

Later in the evening, the debutantes, having changed to ballerina-length frocks, competed m the finals of the "Miss University" contest. They were required to parade along a ramp, perform an item, and answer one question from the judge, Mr. E. K. Braybrooke. Miss Fresher sang an original lyric entitled "Leprosy" (e.g., "There goes a fingernail into my glass of ale"); Miss Fine Arts sang original words (in original German) to an original tune, about a Rhine maiden whose lover jumps over a cliff: Miss French sang a sophisticated little ditty in a husky cabaret-entertainer's voice; Miss "Salient" did a helped-up number on the violin; while Miss Classics, in one of the funniest acts of the evening, did a dance Interpretation to a reading from Aristophanes.

Mr. Braybrooke awarded the title to Miss French, and as she was crowned intoned the appropriate legal formula. Miss University was then presented with a silver trophy.

Mr. B. V. Galvin, who was M.C.. welcomed the guests on behalf of the Bachelors'. Club, and Miss Tanya Okman spoke on behalf of the Spinsters Club.