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Salient. An Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria College, Wellington, N.Z. Vol. 14, No. 10. August 9, 1951

De Incolis Barbaris Novae Zealandiae — Mediocre, Middle Class, Puritan — Dependable, Adaptable, Honest

De Incolis Barbaris Novae Zealandiae

Mediocre, Middle Class, Puritan

Dependable, Adaptable, Honest

Grant that the typical New Zealander is a myth, a mere figment of a statistician's imagination. Yet precisely because of the lack of human extremes in this country a large number of people are remarkably close to this fictional average. Some description of the "typical" New Zealander is therefore likely to give a fairly accurate picture of our way of life and our values. And it at once becomes clear that the biased and uninformed criticism of overseas visitors may err on the side of politeness rather than frankness.

New Zealanders are first and last, totally and completely, bourgeois. Even by Australian standards, practically every pakeha would be grouped as "middle class." Most of our essential characteristics spring from this fact. First, a negative puritanism. Secondly, an equalitarianism that merges into worship of mediocrity. Thirdly, a complete lack of imagination.

Puritan

The average New Zealander is a puritan by origin, upbringing and instinct. Mentally, he remains in the suburbs of a provincial town in Victorian England. This puritanism, unlike that of America, is negative, for if there are two things most of us shun like the plague, they are enthusiasm and general principles. They terrify us.

We are glum and apathetic in our pleasures, amusements and vices alike—in the last category gambling comes far ahead of the rest of the field. We are determinedly serious, and distrust gaiety as a sign of instability and even effeminacy. Spontaneous public singing is an objectionable foreign habit, and there is some pride that the New Zealanders in the First World War were known as the "Silent Division."

In practice the material is valued far above the spiritual. Religion means churchgoing and a mild benevolent humanitarianism. Ethics are of habit only, their unique sanction the opinion of our fellows. Theology is an even greater loss than philosophy. Anything bordering on mysticism is upsetting and slightly disgusting, although potty fashions like spiritualism are socially popular among women. But mysticism proper is one of the many things that are "UnBritish," and being alien must necessarily be inferior and a legitimate subject for sneers or the pity that surpaaseth misunderstanding. Discussion of the fundamentals of reality, although occasionally indulged in by less responsible sections of the younger generation, is taboo except in moments of deep crisis, when a few solemn parrotted cliches are permissible.

Plebian

The New Zealand bourgeois is a fanatic leveller, truly believing in economic as well as political democracy. His programme may be summed up as a fair deal (materially) for everyone. No one must be allowed to have anything that everyone else has not a chance of getting. Consistently he is usually [unclear: ready] to take it easy as soon as he is earning enough for a respectable living (and he means respectable—for that is the first and greatest of virtues). There is little of that appalling hunger for Success that obsesses so many Americans.

The vaunted New Zealand tolerance does not exist; toleration extends only to a set circle of beliefs—what John Smith or his neighbour accept.

In everyday life and its crises the New Zealander is dependable, unhysterical, adaptable, loyal and Honest. With money he is generous and readily contributes to a "good cause." He is hospitable to visitors, because he is anxious to show off the near-perfection of the New Zealand way of life.

Our reading is wide but uncritical, and fills our brains with a hodgepodge of half-digested inconsistencies. Conversation is limited to shop talk, personalities, sport and cliches. The only subjects in which we pretend or aspire to any critical knowledge, apart from personal fields of technical competence, are sport and politics. Otherwise, opinions are taken ready-made from the daily or weekly Press.

The New Zealander is a strong upholder of home life, but as he has no semblance of an idea of what such life can be, it makes him habitually bored and frustrated. He is loyal to his wife, but unless he has been married only recently, is not likely to be in love with her. His references to wives in general are uncomplimentary. Woman is a domestic animal, whose interests should be purely in and of the home if some other emotional outlet is necessary, let it be sought in magazine slop and the more sugary films. Women themselves are often ready to accept this idea of their sphere; most marriages are, accordingly, an intellectual vacuum.

Public acknowledgment of married love is commonly felt to be somewhat indecent. The public display of affection by others causes acute embarrassment to respectable people and is to be sedulously avoided.

New Zealanders are fond of children and their attitude towards them is ostentatiously sentimental, even slobbery. There is, however, little of that sickening adulation of dogs which is so repulsive a feature of English life.

Philistine

The average New Zealander is altogether devoid of imagination, both the spiritual imagination of Western Europe and the material visions of the American or Australian. The practicality which we praise and boast of amounts to an inability to see further than our noses. Any far-reaching and long term plan (of immigration or erosion control, for instance) is apt to be sneered down as visionary and grandiose.

The idea of the Good Life is meaningless to the New Zealander, unless it is to consist of endless race meetings, bar schools and gardening.

We tolerate barbarous laws relating to drinking, gambling and sabbath observance, which make Sundays a desert, savagely restrict drinking in all its more civilised aspects and make us the laughing stock of visitors from civilised lands. Our innate puritanism makes us ashamed to drink in front of mothers and children and drink is thereby segregated from ordinary life and becomes a semi-furtive vice. Drink with meals implies that liquor might be natural and normal and is therefore very wicked indeed. Drink with dancing implies that liquor and gaiety might be associated and is likewise most properly prohibited.

We stuff ourselves with monotonous and indigestible food (beer is preferred to wine, meat to fruit, and our chief vegetables are potatoes and cabbage) and our houses with heavy furniture and ornaments of atrocious design. Our clothing is drab and unvaried and to travellers from overseas our women look dowdy. Brightness of dress is the exception and clothes have often little relation to the wearer's features or figure.

Although we can be quite indifferent to the most appalling ugliness, we are used to and appreciate beautiful scenery, the nature of which developes our sense of colour rather than form. We are totally bereft of architectural imagination and build everywhere, alike in the backblocks and on the tops of mountains, boxlike suburban bungalows with a breath-taking disregard of the environment. We like flowers but our lack of imagination prevents us from making adequate use of them. We do have a real liking and talent for gardening and of all our interests this is the most nearly civilised.

We have no intelligent interest in the arts and our taste is as deplorable as our knowledge. Music is a partial exception, perhaps because its appeal is primarily emotional. It docs not occur to us for a moment that the appeal of the other fine arts is an intellectual one.

In short, despite some important virtues, most New Zealanders neither live nor conceive of a truly civilised life, as it exists in Europe, the Americas and even Australia.

J.B.C.

"You Culture Demon, You!"

"You Culture Demon, You!"

(Woad, Wugby and Waces)