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Salient. An Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria College, Wellington, N.Z. Vol. 9, No. 9. July, 24, 1946

New Bagpipes Sweep Clean

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New Bagpipes Sweep Clean

It's no go the smile and run, it's no go the teasing.
What we want is tea for two, with sugar, and some squeezing.
Their faces shine like heaven above, their hearts are cold as the devil,
The halo wobbles around their heads when they try to keep it level.

Lucy Dodder had a daughter, sweet she was and nifty.
Locked her up in the frigidaire to keep till she was fifty.
Opened the door to take a peep, thought her face looked rosy.
Gave her a spray of cactus, to make into a posy.

It's no go the Absolute, and Mary Baker Eddy,
All we want is a bottle of gin, and a smoke to keep us steady.

Mr. Wordsworth looked at the moon, thought it seemed like heaven.
Counted his three score years and ten and said, "Now we are seven."
Looked around and saw the hills, thought they were covered in spots,
Sat down beside a primrose plant, wrote down some more bon mots.

Annie McPherson bought a car, drove it into the harbour.
Wondered why it wouldn't go, when she pressed her foot on the starter.
Sophie Briggs had long blonde hair, thought she'd take up Russian,
Bought a copy of "War and Pence," and a bottle of Lane's Emulsion.

It's no go the 10-hour week, it's no go repressions.
What we want is a big enough bed, and scope for self-expression.

[unclear: Rudolf] Steiner went to sea, vomited over the taffrail.
Said "To hell with the physical plane," and departed for the astral.
The fishes of the sea looked up, thought it was raining manna,
Gathered round with folded hands, gave forth a loud Hosanna.

It's no go the Black Shirts, it's no go the Berleis,
All we want is a bag of sweets, and a film of Jose Iturbi's.

It's no go the motor-cars, with all their b____ [unclear: if] seating,
What we want is a bike for two, without the central heating.

It's no go the milk in schools, no go the apples.
Feed your child on hard-boiled eggs, and whisky when he rattles.

It's no go my pretty poet, no go your sonnets,
The world's all Health and Joy through Science, and you won't get the profits.

The glass is draining hour by hour, the glass will soon be empty.
The breweries are running dry, but the chemical works have plenty.

M. NLc.