Beginning of Term Dance Pleasant But Uneventful

(A "Salient" reporter was asked to cover the Beginning of Term Dance. This being a pleasant but uneventful function, he was forced to employ a style favoured by certain other student newspapers.)

Well, well, here are all the boys and girls hot-diggety jiving it in the lil ol Gym. Pack of peaches, I don't think. But they play hot and rhythmic, the band. Only one welldressed woman and she borrowed it from her sister. We asked TootsieWootsie about the dustbin and she said "Rubbish."

* * *

Seen converging in the crush for supper who be it but Bobbie Bings-worth and Bet Bubbles. We aint seen you too together in a long time, kids. Go to it, we'll watch the papers.

* * *

Jemima thinks little Jimmy Jones ust stinks. Better drop Chem. or you'll have to drop the peroxide, boy.

* * *

Why did Dismal Des give the wolfcall in the animal Monte-Carlo? Just reflex. We secretly think he's just a sheep beneath the skin. Bah!

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Bettina wants to know some uses for a graveyard. You'll learn in about 50 years' time; or maybe I could show you now.

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Men may observe strict etiquette
At the sight of a girl in a petiguette,
But it takes a lot to calm us
When we see her in pyjamas.