Australian Clergyman Slates "Clasping Dances"

A vehement adjudgment of modern dancing was recently pronounced at an Australian church conference. That a woman should marry when scores of other men have had their passions roused by her, was a thought that revolted the Rev. Semmens and he amplified his initial remarks in no uncertain terms.

This pachydermatous member of the clergy continued—"For centuries the Church and other agencies concerned with the preservation of the sanctity of womanhood have set their faces against clasping dances, in which the body of the woman is held against the body of the man. It would be absurd to suggest that... all dancers are sinners, but we cannot take the risk or the responsibility of providing opportunities which lead to promiscuity.

"Control of functions where dancing is allowed is a nightmare. The lads begin handling and mauling the girls, the hip flask comes out and improprieties follow. High school dances in one place had to be stopped because of the number of bottles and other articles found in the grounds next day. Nothing can justify jitterbugging in which girls are upturned to show their panties."

Pending further action all dancers are to adhere to these rules. Girls to provide themselves with the following articles—(a) One suit of mail armour; (b) One padlock—key to be swallowed; (c) Slacks—only for jitterbuggers. Men—All hip pockets to be removed; the following are forbidden—skeleton keys, emetics, laxatives, tin openers and oxy-acetylene flames. Women must wear helmets with visors, men will wear mustaches—the cemetery is to be picketed and floodlit. All dancing will be under strict supervision. Any man whose passions are raised or any woman who suspects that her sanctity is being lowered will immediately contact a responsible member of the social committee who will provide the necessary precautions.