Freshers Perform

A crowded lecture room (42 persons, men 69.9476%, women 30.9524% approx.) listened agape to the wonders of science, completely revealed by three unblushing freshers of the Maths and Physics Society.

Mr. Hall, with quick precision, skilfully outlined the various theories accounting for the earth's magnetism. With short lapses into higher mathematics and relativity for the benefit of the back benches, he succeeded in showing that no satisfactory theory had been proposed. Mr. Hall attributed certain magnetic variations to the 11-year sun-spot cycle, which also, apparently, affects the rings on trees ("Probably has something to do with the fertility of elephants," muttered the vice-president to the secretary.) Professor Florence anxiously contested one point, and was much relieved to find that what he had been teaching for 40 years was right after all.

Mr. Copp, a devotee of the [unclear: cu] of water-divining, adduced experimental results which proved conclusively that the water could be analysed with the help of rods of different colours. At question time he held his own against the materialists who hotly contested his semi-metaphysical concepts. "If I haven't convinced you, I hope I have interested you," said this speaker. He certainly had. ("I still don't believe it," whispered the secretary to the vice-president.)

Next came Mr. Bradfield, with a well-prepared study on the possibilities of life on other planets. He was obviously at home in his subject, and exhibited some interesting lantern slides, mostly of the planets. "Now, here is a photograph of life on Mars," he said, as he slipped one in. A trio of grotesque monsters, in vivid red tints, appeared on the screen. The audience was paralysed. Then—"It's not a photograph, It's a drawing," he admitted sadly.

Professor Florance and his daughters provided a good supper, thus concluding one of the best meetings of the Maths and Physics Society.