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Salient. An Organ of Student Opinion at Victoria College, Wellington, N.Z. Vol. 2, No. 13 July 5, 1939

"Farsity Fables" No. 1

"Farsity Fables" No. 1

Once there was a Young Varsity Student Who Wanted to be a Big Noise in Student Affairs. So a Meeting of Students was called and He Was Appointed a Candidate of the Full Time Students for the Forthcoming Student Elections. Also He Wrote Hundreds of Words to the College News Organ, and Wore His Pants Back to Front in order to Attract Attention. Finally He Became Such an Extraordinary Phenomenon that One Day the Executive Noticed Him and were Terribly Upset about it. So They Put "Grievances of Full Time Students" on the Agenda for the Annual Meeting. Now the Young Student was Caught on the Hop by This, because though He Had Talked Grandly of the "Many Legitimate Grievances of My Constituents" He had Not Expected that He would have to Name Them. So He Thought Furiously, and Read "Truth" Carefully, and Finally Decided to Say that the Executive Were Fossilized Shell-Backs; that a Drinking Fountain should be Provided for Those Whose Mouths Could Not Fit the Taps; that All the Lawyers and Accountants on the Executive Did Not Know What They were Doing.

However, the Young Student was Only a Geologist and His Talents and Training were Confined to Fossils and Shells and Grisly Relics. Hence He could Not be Expected to Hold His Own in an Argument with a Lawyer, an Accountant and a Journalist; and Since He did Not Verify His Facts Before He Came to the Annual Meeting He Was Blown Out Thereat Almost before He had Opened His Mouth. This was Very Unfortunate for His Figure because Every Time He Said Something He was Very Soon Compelled to Swallow His Words; and thus He Became So Full of Wind that He Closely Resembled an Inflated Sausage Skin. At This Point Someone Stuck a Pin into Him and When the Air had Cleared after the Explosion there Remained Only a Wrinkled Mass of Thick Hide Flattened Out on the Floor.

Moral. Do not Rush in Where Angels Fear to Tread.