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The Story of Wild Will Enderby

Chapter VII. A Novel Prescription

page 224

Chapter VII. A Novel Prescription.

"Say, Doc., do you think he's strong enough to stand it?"

"Strong enough? Yes." And the medico swore a huge oath, which was a blessing disguised. "There's no such physic in my bottles. Administer the girl first. The sight of her will operate like a tonic on him. Then throw in the blackguard as a counter-irritant. Drench him with the fable of the Dog and the Shadow; and give him the Provincial Gazette or Tupper's Proverbial Philosophy as a sedative; and if that don't cure him nothing will."

"Guess you're a cut above me there, Doc. Don't know nothing about no Tupper. Suppose it's a new liquor."

The medico chuckled. "Yes; very new and abominably frothy—diluted gas, in fact. 'Pon my soul, I don't know which to admire most, old fellow,—your honesty or your simplicity. Come—baptize your tipple."

"No, Sirree," said the Senior Partner, "I never liquor up till the sun is well over the main-yard. It ain't judicious, Doc."

"By Jove!" cried the medico; "I'm deuced glad there are very few of the same opinion. Why, Pratt, page 225if it were not for the drink there would be very little work for the sons of Esculapius to do. This climate is disgustingly healthy."

Unto them entered the bold Sergeant.

"How's the young man?"

"The young man is pretty well, Sir," answered the American. "He desired me to give you his affectionate regards, and thank you for your kind attentions, and to say you needn't call anymore, because you ain't wanted."

The Sergeant's nose curled scornfully. "Don't be talking of my intintions," said he. "I must make a personal inspection of the accused."

And he made a movement in the direction of Will's chamber.

The American detained him. "No, Sir; you must not. We've concluded not to trouble you any more. See here: there ain't no accused, nor nobody killed. So you can jest go back to the Camp, and tell Mr. Commissioner that before next cock-crow I'll produce the necessary evidence."

And he did so. He caused the redoubtable 'Ginger' to be conveyed to the township, and presented him at Court,—to the Commissioner, that is; and to that official the facts of the case were narrated. Then, following the doctor's advice, he brought the fellow to Will, who having been previously interviewed by Philip and Mabel, appeared 'clothed, and in his right mind.' And so far was he from entertaining any grudge against his late antagonist that, when thoroughly convinced of his identity, he insisted on bestowing on the mauvais sujet who had caused so page 226much trouble, a considerable donation, by way of compensation for damages.

Any prosecution for the attempted robbery was out of the question. For to the disgust of the Sergeant, the Co. 'resoluted' not to initiate any action in the matter. Said the Senior Partner,—

"Guess the miserable skunk has been welted enough already. Two ribs and a collar-bone is rather tall whipping: more than the books allow for non-annexation of property, stranger."

"Listen to me now," grumbled the Sergeant to his henchman, the constable. "Them dimocratic Yankees will ruin the country. They've no respect for the Force nor the Queen either. It's my opinion, Constable, that the fellow ought to be hung as high as Haman for speaking of Her Majesty as a young person."

"Did he say that, now?" cried Constable Finnegan. "Be jabers thin, it's the blarney-stone he's been kissing!"

Scarcely less annoyed was the Commissioner. "Here's been a precious stir about nothing," said he. "What a shocking waste of valuable time!" he continued, thinking wearily of his manifold and arduous duties. Then with a shrug of resignation he re-constituted himself a Committee of Public Safety, and dismissed the subject from his thoughts.

And Mabel—bonny, blue-eyed Mabel. Here I draw the curtain. There are more things than tragedies, which should be enacted behind the scenes. Conceive the situation, my friends. Picture to yourself, dear Sir or Madam, the probable issue of such a meeting as page 227then and there took place; and if your own imagination be not vivid enough to supply the details, ineffectual would be any attempt of mine to fill the canvas. I will only say that the tonic supplied by the medico agreed remarkably well with Will's constitution, and the tonic seemed none the worse for it.