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Number One; or, The Way of the World

Chapter vi. Try Again

page 49

Chapter vi. Try Again.

"Try again" When I was a very little boy—not more than six or seven years old—my mind received a powerful and, as time has proved, a lasting impression from the moral of a little song entitled "perseverance," in which composition a repetition of the above extract is one of its leading features. Probably the illustration of the subject did something towards the perpetuation of a practical lesson therefrom. As a treat I was one evening taken to an institution in my native town to hear from a learned professor a lecture on "the effects of early training." In order to illustrate what might be accomplished by "perseverance," even in the early stages of life, the lecturer, during the evening, arranged a vocal band of children of from four to six years of age. This done, the first signal from his baton drew forth from his pretty little choir such sweet and captivating strains of harmony that I have never forgotten the simple yet commanding words:—

"If at first you don't succeed,
Try, try, try again;
'Tis a lesson you should heed,
Try, try, try again.

"Once or twice though you may fail,
Try, try, try again;
If at last you would prevail,
Try, try, try again."

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And I did "try again." From eight in the morning till dusk, day after day, for three successive weeks, I walked from street to street, from east to west, and from north to south. I penetrated warehouses, shops, counting-houses, banking-houses, and houses in professions of which I was then, and am still ignorant, while in all manner of strange and mysterious places I tried for success without obtaining it. That youth who without trade, profession, or patronage, has himself walked through London in search of employment can alone compass the extent or severity of such a trial. Fatigued in body, depressed in mind, often hungry yet afraid to spend one of the few remaining shillings, or even half the amount, for a dinner, in case there might be insufficient for my landlady at the close of the week. Such was my case during the last three days of my three weeks' search for a situation. Yet more severe, far more severe, than the physical toil of the task were the angry frowns and snarling negatives of many of the gentlemen, or rather individuals, on whom I called. Gentlemen invariably give to a courteous question a civil answer. Some such I found among the meanest no less than the highest tradesmen. Their kind "would if I could" answers were little gleams of sunshine that encouraged me on the way; and as I was always hopeful, there ever came to my comfort and assistance the most stimulating of the verses in the song just named:—

"If you find your task his hard,
Try, try, try again;
Time will bring you your reward,
Try, try, try again."

On the first morning of the fourth week, my own case not only seemed "hard," but had in reality become serious. page 51It never occurred to me when, with thirty shillings, I embarked in life on my own individual resources, and made arrangements with myself for equalizing the monetary capital in hand, so as to ensure board and lodging for three weeks, that anything more than board and lodging would be required. But I was now reminded of a serious error or omission in my youthful and inexperienced calculations. One after another, certain little wants began to present themselves, not only to present themselves, but to prove, in the presentation, that when a young gentleman has entirely to provide for himself, something beyond, eating, drinking, and sleeping will occasionally be needed. My little stock of clean linen was nearly exhausted. All but the last shirt had been worn, when suddenly, and for the first time, the question arose:—"how and by whom are these necessaries again to be made ready for wear?" At home, they had always been found in my chest of drawers, ready for use when required, but now, when they were wanted as usual, they were not ready. The rain had also made perceptible inroads on the beauty and original shape of my chapeau; for after the first day—that day happened to be a sunny one—I consigned my umbrella to future obscurity, finding, as I did, that something either in the size, make, or color of the article often attracted more attention than the owner—one gentleman on whom I called having the curiosity to enquire, as he opened out the gingham for inspection, whether it was intended as a tent for the use of emigrants. Finding the cause of such remarks to be anything but favorable to the chief object of a youth in search of a situation, I at once discharged the umbrella from my service, while, in its early doom, I was forcibly reminded of a poor curate in my native town, who was suddenly dismissed from office for having page 52either by his appearance or by his eloquence, attracted more attention than the vicar—thereby detracting from the importance and dignity of his master.

But while a questionable looking hat, dirty linen, and sundry other little things, told of wants the supply of which might be postponed for a short time, worse than either of these, in its immediate consequences, was a requirement that would admit of no delay. My only thick pair of walking shoes had for several days furnished their owner with a well grounded report that unless something were done, and that quickly, for arresting the rapid decline of the soles, the toes of these useful articles would not be the only ones with which they were connected that would have openly to salute the pavement at every step, or perhaps, like the unfortunate umbrella, be subject to the critical remarks of certain curious and unfeeling spectators. The shoes were therefore sent to be mended, but without any enquiry as to the cost of mending the same. To my utter amazement and dismay, the London cobbler, on the completion of his "job," as he called it, made a demand of five shillings and sixpence—one shilling less, I believe, than the original cost of the shoes in my native town.

Pecuniary embarrassment, at any period of life, is, no doubt, rather a disagreeable sort of thing. It was especially so to me during my youthful experience of the world. Yet here I was clearly insolvent before I had reached my sixteenth birthday. The position was a painful one, but the knowledge that it might have been averted made it still more painful. Although the fellowship of my first and faithless companion was the primary cause of early difficulties, the early adoption of Honest John's timely, but unheeded, advice would have prevented all. His friendly counsel was disregarded, and juvenile page 53insolvency is the result. Although the deficiency is not, at present, large, there is the gloomy prospect of its daily enlargement. The cobbler's bill was the immediate cause of the deficit. The bill was three shillings more than I expected it would be. This paid, I had a balance in hand of five shillings, and my inventive powers on a subject of finance would admit of no calculation, though taxed to the utmost, by which I could, with the amount named, discharge, in full, a bill of six shillings and sixpence. This amount was now due to the landlady for a week's board and lodging, or rather for lodging and breakfast—the only daily meal of which I had partaken during the latter half of the closing week. I therefore resolved, before matters grew worse, or that anyone could accuse me of going on too long without making my affairs known to others when they were patent to myself, at once to hold a meeting of my creditor—the landlady. On the dirty little servant girl removing the remains of the breakfast of which I had freely partaken,—thinking it might possibly be the last for some time—I desired her to tell her mistress I should be glad to speak with her. Never have I forgotten, never can I forget, the interview that followed—an interview in which a woman created on my mind an impression the very opposite of that which has since been produced by the great majority of those of the sex with whom I have had the good fortune to become acquainted.

At the close of each of the two preceding weeks, I gave to the servant the amount due for lodging, &c, to convey to her mistress. On this occasion the delivery of a message, in place of the money, had the immediate effect of securing the requisite meeting for disclosing my embarrassed position.

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"Kitty says you wish to speak to me," said Mrs. Pepper, as she entered the cheerless little room of which I was the tenant. "I've brought up your bill," she continued, at the same time giving me a small slip of paper on which was written:—

"One week bed and breakfast, 6s. 6d.

Paid,

C. Pepper."

"Pray, take a seat, Mrs. Pepper," I said.

"Lor bless ye, I aint time for sitting at any time a day, specially mornings; too many comings and goings in a house like this; one married couple, and a single young man going to-day; some people are never satisfied long anywhere; but I never did and never shall like women, specially as lodgers; sooner do for a dozen young men than one woman. I've brought up your bill, young man."

"Yes, Mrs. Pepper; the bill is the subject on which I wished to see you. You have written "paid" on it, but I regret to say I shall not be able to discharge your bill this week."

"Not—not pay the bill?" reiterated the landlady with an air of indignant surprise. "Not pay your bill, did you say?"

"I said I could not discharge it this week."

"Then, if that's the case, young man, you'd better discharge yourself, and save my son the trouble a doing it for you. We don't want people here as can't pay; but, in course, your box must remain till we're satisfied, though the sooner you go the better. Not pay, indeed? Who sent you to lodge here—somebody else as you couldn't pay, I s'pose?"

"Mrs. Pepper, if you will only allow me to——"

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"I'll allow nothing, sir, afore you pay your bill. Why, we let you in at a shilling a week less than our regular terms, because you was rather young! and we took ourselves in at the bargain, as no three full-grown men in 'the house eats half the breakfast as you do. They satisfy themselves overnight afore they come home. I'll never take another from the country who goes to bed at nine, sleeps to grow hungry, and gets up to take it out of his breakfast, at the cost of his landlady. But if you can't pay, you'd better go."

"If you'll only allow me, Mrs. Pepper, I will tell you that I have been in daily expectation of a five pound note from the country, in addition to a guinea borrowed by a companion before he left London. I also hoped to have obtained a situation before this."

"Hopes and disappointments is all very well in their way," said the landlady, pointing to the dirty slip of paper she had placed on the table, "but hopes and disappointments don't pay bills. And now I remember, we never had a reference with you, young man; that is, we didn't go for one. You told us not to call on that John—somebody, somewhere in Islington; but my daughter took the address, and now we'd better see what he knows about you."

"For mercy's sake, Mrs. Pepper, don't call there; I would not have you call on John for the world"

"Not for the world, and you can't pay six and sixpence?" said the landlady as she was on the point of retiring.

"If you delay your call on John, I will use every effort to pay you to-morrow. Five shillings I can give you at once, if you will only allow the balance of eighteenpence to remain for a short time?"

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"You might have told me that, before," said Mrs. Pepper, in a subdued tone. "In course, everybody knows that eighteenpence is less to lose than six and sixpence, so I'll take the five shillings."

"I hope, Mrs. Pepper, you may not lose a farthing by me; and if you will not call on John to-day, I will endeavour—nay, I will engage to pay you the balance of your bill to-morrow."

"Then, I will give you till to-morrow to pay it," replied the considerate landlady, as she took the receipted bill, with five shillings I had placed thereon, and retired from my apartment.

After this severe castigation, I sallied forth on another day's search for employment, but without the requisite nerve or composure for making a single application—the want of eighteenpence having completely obscured the more important want of a situation. Having wandered to and fro for two hours, or more, in an unenviable state of anxiety, I returned to my lodging for the purpose of ascertaining whether any small article of which I was the owner could be converted into the trifling, yet all-important monetary sum required. At this moment, I imagined that the immediate acquisition of eighteenpence would not only satisfy a resolute and curious woman, but also stay from Honest John a disclosure I so much dreaded—the penniless and friendless position to which I had been reduced through my own imprudence, in having rejected that kind advice and assistance, of which I now felt myself unworthy. And I was too much ashamed of my unworthiness again to accept or solicit what I had before accepted only to discard.

Again I entered the lodging that I was now anxious to quit for ever. The sight of the place terrified me, but the page 57remembrance of her who made it terrible terrified me still more. Openly accused of "eating as much as any three full-grown men in the house," how could I reconcile myself either to the place or my accuser? If I had a craving stomach, I had a sensitive mind; and as one could only, in future, be satisfied at the expense of the other, I clearly foresaw that my morning meal, the only daily one of which I had recently partaken, would have to be considerably reduced. Two slices of bread and butter, instead of six, must be the maximum—otherwise, if on any particular occasion the "three full-grown lodgers" should not happen to "satisfy theirselves overnight," my very slumber might be disturbed by a trio of apparitions, preceded or followed by that of the landlady, each and all demanding the bread and butter of which they had been defrauded.

While turning out the contents of my chest in quest of some convertible relic with which to satisfy Mrs. Pepper, and ease my own mind, I was suddenly interrupted by the self-same individual whose exacting doctrines had two hours previously been propounded at the expense of her tenant's nerves. But the woman was changed, or there was a change in the woman. In person, she was evidently the same, but in manner and speech she was another being. The sudden transformation, or cause thereof, was at this moment a riddle the solution of which was unfathomable.

"You're not a packing up, young gentleman, are you?" said Mrs. Pepper, as she entered my apartment.

"Oh dear, no; but as my box is to remain here till you are satisfied, I was just placing the contents in something like order."

"Ha! ha! ha! I was only a joking you this morning, young man. Why, didn't you think when I was a talking to you about going and all that, that it was only a joke?"

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"Indeed, Mrs, Pepper, I did not. I thought, and think it something more than a joke."

"Well, well; don't think anything more about it. We've been talking the matter over, and my daughter considers you a very steady young man; we are a going to do all we can for you, so make yourself quite at home, and if there's anything you want why you've only to say so. There! I've placed your five shillings on the table on the very spot where it stood this morning, so you see I was only a joking. The money, you know, may he useful to you, and, in course, I don't want it" and as for this week's or next week's bill, or the one after for the matter a that, you needn't uncompose yourself in the least about it; I know you means well, and I shall get my money some day, and if I don't, why it will be no fault a mine?I mean no fault a yours, as I'm sure you'll pay when you has it in your power. But remember, I was only a joking this morning. Why, as I live, your breakfast things arn't cleared away, and it's near upon one o'clock. I'll take 'em down at once, as I've got something to send up as you'll not object to."

Hereupon, Mrs. Pepper left the room. At the expiration of a few moments the door was re-opened, when Kitty, the dirty little servant girl, entered the apartment with a small tea tray which she placed on the table that had just been enriched with five shillings from the hands of her mistress.

"If you please, sir," said Kitty, as she arranged the ends of the cloth that covered the tray, "missus says she thought you might like broad beans and bacon, and as she's a having some for dinner, she thought she'd send you up a little. You'll find the cabbage in the white basin and the porter in the blue jug. Missus says you'll please ring if you wants anything."

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Hereupon Kitty also left the room. As for me, I was altogether in a fog, with my senses so mystified by the mortal maze in which I was enclosed, that I knew not what to think, or whither to proceed. But hunger was, at this moment, too keen for the inaction of the body, or for the reflection of a sensitive or modest mind. Amid the prevailing mist, the sense of smell was so strong, that Mrs. Pepper's beans and bacon attracted my personal attention before I had time to consider either the mystery that surrounded a welcome repast, or the still greater mystery attached to a woman, who on the same day had surprised me by the representation of two characters, each the very opposite of the other. When I had finished beans, bacon, cabbage, porter and all, I not only felt better, but truly grateful for the timely gift; at the same time, I felt that nothing on earth would ever make me respect the giver. A certain antipathy towards my landlady had sprung up in my breast?a mortal horror, mixed with fear, such as I never remember to have entertained either before or since that period. Although a few weeks' experience of the way of the world had already confirmed me in the belief that I should meet with many strange characters on my journey, Mrs. Pepper was the strangest I had yet encountered.

The day was altogether an eventful one. No sooner had Kitty removed the empty plates and dishes, than she brought to me an official letter that had been forwarded from Downing-street. This was a reply to a written application made on the preceding day. The answer came too soon to be the herald of welcome intelligence. It simply confirmed a portion of the information I had previously received from the butler of the nobleman to whom I had applied for a situation. Time has proved the rest of the butler's prophecy—the following note being page 60the last I have ever heard on the subject to which it relates:—

"Downing Street, June 10th.

"Sir,

"I am directed by Lord—to inform you that your name has been placed on the list of candidates for situations under government.

"I am, Sir,

"Your obedient servant,

"Henry—."

This letter had scarcely been deposited with other equally valuable documents in my chest, when Kitty, on presenting me with a very diminutive parcel, informed me that "It had been left by a young man who told missus Frank might guess the person who sent it." Kitty also said, as she was leaving the room, "missus told the gentleman that valuable things is generally wrapped in small parcels."

The remark of the "missus" was certainly applicable to the present case, as the parcel was small, and the contents—to me—very valuable. The guinea borrowed by my supposed friend and early companion, Silas Bloomfield, was now, at least as I imagined, returned to the lender, although the little bit of brown paper, and the message delivered by Kitty, alone escorted the prodigal coin on its return. There was nothing else to indicate from whom it came, or whither it had so long strayed from its rightful owner. But my friend had been my first and only debtor, and as the amount returned was identical with that borrowed, how could I "guess" that any other person had had a hand in the business? The absence of all written communication on the subject I attributed to my friend's page 61inability or disinclination for an exchange of friendly relationship. Had the guinea been enclosed in the promised bank-note instead of in a bit of brown paper, the order of things would have been reversed. As it was, I concluded that my companion had acted honestly in the discharge of his own debt, but not equally so with regard to the fulfilment of a promise that would have made his friend his debtor.

A large portion of the guinea was soon disposed of. Mrs. Pepper was at once summoned to the presence of one whom she had just comforted with beans and bacon; and notwithstanding a fresh display of generosity, on her part, in stating that immediate payment of her bill was not required, I insisted on discharging not only the past but the present week's account. I was now out of debt, had a small cash balance in hand, and was comparatively happy. Without knowing what character my serio-comic landlady might next assume, I knew it would be out of her power for some few days, at least, to accuse me of being her monetary debtor. But there still hung on my memory the more unpalatable accusation of "having eaten for breakfast more than any three full-grown men in the house." However much I might have relished the morning meal, while ignorant of the crime I was committing, I was totally unable to stomach an accusation that would, in future, lessen the enjoyment of a necessary repast. Fearing that, without a considerable reduction in that repast, I might again be called on to plead to a former charge, I felt that my final departure from the establishment would be the only way to make me independent of it, and place me beyond the reach of its complex owner. How was this to be accomplished??only by obtaining a situation. With my small capital, I had no heart to enter another lodging-page 62house, thinking I might fare worse than I had already done, and eventually get no breakfast at all. The day was only half spent, and I at once resolved to go forth and "try again" for employment.

In passing through a part of the city not far from Finsbury Square, my attention was attracted to a shop or office window in which, among a variety of announcements of vacant situations for persons of almost every grade and profession, from a pot-boy to a private secretary, appeared the following:—

"Wanted, for first-class commercial establishments, a few respectable youths and young men from the country."

Here was a sight to cheer a heart drooping with despair! How strange I had not seen the office or the announcement before. Is it a dream or a pleasing reality? Half a dozen perusals of the notice, and as many passes to and fro in front of the window in which it appeared, convinced me there was no dreaming on my part, whatever there might be on the part of those who had displayed a signal that stood as an inviting beacon to my long delayed desire. But, as the brightest hopes are often shaded by a passing cloud, my mind was suddenly depressed by the supposition that the vacant places might have been filled, although the announcement of the vacancies still remained. The gentleman within the office had perhaps omitted to remove the notice when the wants of the publisher had been supplied. With a heart agitated alike by hope and fear, I entered the office whence the excitement originated.

"I have called on the subject of a notice which appears in your window," I said to a man of respectable appearance, who sat behind the counter reading a newspaper.

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"Which notice do you mean?" enquired the gentleman.

"That which states that a few youths and young men from the country are wanted."

"Under which class do you consider yourself; because we make some difference in the charge; youths have not quite so much to pay as young men."

"Pay!" I exclaimed in astonishment. "I don't want a situation where there is anything to pay, but one in which a young person would be paid for his services."

"Precisely. Such are the situations we profess to supply; but, of course, we are paid for supplying them. It is our business. In the same manner that you expect to be paid for your services, we, in the first place, expect to be paid for ours. But I perceive you are fresh from the country,"

Here the speaker was stopped, or stopped himself, through the appearance of a young woman, who at this moment entered the office, and said:—

"If you please, master, what's your charge for getting a place for under-housemaid?"

"Take a seat in the inner room, and as soon as I am disengaged I'll speak to you."

The girl obeyed the command, and the commander closed the door of the room into which she entered.

"Our charge for a commercial situation for a respectable youth, like yourself, is five shillings," continued the gentleman.

"I shall be most happy to pay that amount, sir," I replied, taking from my pocket a purse that contained but little more. "What will be the character, and what the duties of the situation?"

"Character—commercial, and of the first class. Its duties will relate to commerce, of course."

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"You'll find five shillings there, sir," I said, placing on the counter that amount, which was immediately transferred by the official to his own pocket. "Will you please to inform me what day I may prepare for work?"

The answer to this question was delayed by a youth about my own age, who entered the office and said:—

"Can I see the gentleman who wants a young man from the country?"

"Walk in this room and take a seat," said the official, as he opened and closed the door of the inner room. "What did you say in reference to work?" he enquired, again turning his attention to me.

"I merely wished to know when I am to get ready for my situation," I replied.

"Soon as the situation is ready for you, of course."

"But how soon will that be, sir, if you please? "

"My good lad, I don't profess to be a prophet as well as an agent. I will do the best I can for you in my own profession, and I promise to place your name on our commercial list this very day."

The word "list" produced on my nervous system a momentary shock by no means agreeable. It was an immediate reminder of the "government list" on which my name had already been placed, without—as I was informed—any chance of securing the desire of its owner. After I had partially recovered from the effects of the electric thrill, I told the official, who was evidently anxious to engage his clients in the inner room, that although my name had already been placed on one list, I—

"I can't help that," said the agent, interrupting me. "We have no connection with any other establishment."

"But I am anxious, if possible, to get into a situation at once," I said.

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"If so, you had better pay the extra or special fee," said the agent. "Then your case will be marked urgent. This will cost you another half-crown."

"Then, sir, may I depend on the situation—"

"At the earliest moment we can obtain it for you. Indeed, you may call on me early to-morrow morning, when I shall probably be disengaged. We will then go into the subject of remuneration, namely, what salary you would require. Would a merchant's office suit you?"

"Exactly," I replied.

"Well This is but seldom or ever obtained, except in special cases. You are a stranger to me, but if you take my advice, you'll pay the extra fee at once."

Although I had some slight misgivings respecting the character and business of the gentleman to whom I had already paid five shillings, my wavering doubts were not unlike those of a tradesman who has suddenly become suspicious of a debtor. He is rather inclined to enlarge a doubtful account than jeopardize all by immediate stoppage. I therefore paid the extra fee for a special case, feeling at the same time anything but sure that the services of the agent whom I had engaged to conduct it would be found worth the seven shillings and sixpence paid to secure them. On returning to my lodging with an empty purse, it occurred to me that I had again deviated from the course advised by honest John. The disposal of my three half-crowns told me that I had been trusting for aid to another, instead of to number one.

My worst fears on the subject were soon confirmed. The agent of respectable appearance and plausable address, whom I had just trusted, happened to be one of those London sharpers that are ever and anon devising some trap for catching the unwary. Although his bait was page 66prepared only for small fry,—such as unsuspecting country lads, cooks, clerks, kitchen-maids, and the like, the angler himself was, nevertheless, practising, on a minor scale, the art of those who spread their nets for greater game. He was a miniature type of those gigantic swindlers who year after year vary the style of their materials, and introduce into their new schemes changes as striking and attractive as any that were ever designed by French milliners as "novelties for the season." Whether the honest inventors of fashion for the adornment of the human figure are, or are not more numerous than the professional authors of designs for concealing the blackest dyes of the human heart, may be a question beyond mathematical solution. But whatever may be the number of the first class, that of the second, if computed at all, must be measured by that indefinite number known as legion. When will the English government introduce into "Census Papers" space to enable gentlemen, in the extensive profession alluded to, to fill in a correct return? It is hardly right that so large a portion of the community should have their names recorded only in that miscellaneous compilation of persons to be found under the head of "Court Directory." In the way of bubble companies, British bank directors, promoters of annuity and other societies, established for the benefit of the founders, together with a host of individual Redpaths, Robsons, and Pullingers, there surely must have been, of late, individuals sufficiently numerous to have entitled them—if not for their own benefit, at least for the benefit of the public—to their proper place in the "Classification of Trades." It is to be hoped that in such classification, at least in our Directories, the omission may be supplied, and that the name of "swindler," now that the profession has become an extensive one, may in future page 67be found in alphabetical order, and not, as is too often the case, entered with other trades under an inappropriate heading.

The swindling agent who had alternately excited my hopes and fears, at the serious cost—to me—of three half-crowns, gave me but little further trouble, beyond that which was occasioned by the loss of my money. The day after I had paid him two morning visits, each of which was unceremoniously ended by "call again to-morrow," I found his office closed. It was inaccessible beyond the exterior. During my short stay in the vicinity, numerous victims bombarded the door, and, with anything but "blessings" for the absentee, made several ineffectual attempts to effect an entrance into the apartments of the fugitive. On the following day, the Times newspaper brought the agent's history, so far as my interest was concerned, to an ignominious close. The Lord Mayor consigned him to prison, for three months, for having obtained, and disposed of a young man's gold watch, under promise of securing for its owner a situation of greater value than the article he had purloined.

The discovery, on my part, that the services of the faithless agent were for a time to be confined to the treadmill was purely accidental. The newspaper in which the statement appeared was not examined by me for information either on criminal, political, or general subjects. I had another and more important object in its perusal. By day I walked through London in search of employment, and at night I searched the newspaper merely as a supplement to my daily endeavours. I had for some time been one of that countless number of individuals—comprising every age, profession, and denomination—who wade through the advertising columns of the Times in pursuit of page 68better fortune. Here again, on the same day and in the same paper that made me acquainted with the temporary suspension of the business career of one who had deceived me, I again beheld the very mirror that reflected my wish in the following advertisement:—"Wanted, for a large wholesale house, a respectable and well-educated youth. The situation is one that will require activity and perseverance. Address, by letter only, prepaid, (in applicant's own handwriting) to Messrs. Fountain, Pillar, and Branch,—Street, City."

To this attractive announcement, as to many others that had at various times preceded it, I immediately applied all the mental force at my command. But the heart, in the repeated venture of its fondest hopes, may become so accustomed to disappointment that disappointment itself may almost lose its sting. My disappointments had now been so numerous that, in this instance, I anticipated an addition to the number. All my written and personal applications had hitherto been made without avail; yet, in moments of dark despair, my depressed spirits still retained a spark from that long-cherished injunction that again and again fanned into a flame a resolution to "try again." So, I sat down and filled a sheet, the powerful appeal in which might, I thought,—if the advertiser in early life had only happened to have been in the applicant's position—command from a sympathetic and generous heart that attention which would insure for the author a reply stamped with the seal of success.

When my studied phraseology had been duly committed to paper, I resolved to expedite the delivery of the letter by taking it myself. Although the advertisement said "apply by letter only," I considered that the personal page 69delivery of the epistle would be in strict accordance with the advertiser's orders, no mention being made of any particular person by whom letters should be forwarded, nor that applicants might not, if they felt disposed, save the postage by becoming their own postman. Notwithstanding the loss of my three half-crowns, I was still rich in the possession of five shillings which had been taken from, and returned to me by my considerate landlady; but deeming it desirable to keep this amount intact, in case the lady might repeat the tragic part she had already played, at the expense of my nerves, I considered it prudent to save even the small sum I should have had to pay for postage, by becoming my own letter carrier.

Next to its extensive docks and shipping, there is, perhaps, nothing of a commercial character in England's greatest city capable of exciting so much surprise in the mind of a stranger as a walk through some of the large wholesale warehouses. The magnificent sight at once presented to the view, on entering any first-class wholesale establishment—the brilliant and substantial display of every class of goods, both British and foreign—cannot fail to excite a greater degree of interest, if not surprise, with a stranger, than that occasioned by an inspection of our enormous docks, in which wealth can only be viewed in unsightly and unbroken bulk. The man who forms an opinion of London's city by a mere promenade through, and survey of its principal streets, is about the same distance from a just conception of his subject as the groundwork of the Pacific is supposed to be from the surface of its waters.

On entering the warehouse of Messrs. Fountain, Pillar, and Branch, the outward gloomy appearance of which furnished but a feint idea of its valuable contents, I was almost unnerved by surprise. The vast extent of the page 70premises—the innumerable and immense piles of goods which, stood below, around, and towered above me, together with the numerous body of busy warehousemen by whom I was surrounded, completely stupified my senses with wonder. Enquiring for the principal of the firm, I was informed by one of the warehousemen that Mr. Fountain was not in the way, nor likely to be for some time, as he had just left for his country house, and that when in town his visits to the warehouse were few, short, and very uncertain. On asking for Mr. Pillar, I was told that Mr. Pillar was in Manchester, but that Mr. Branch would be found in his private counting-house at the end of the ware-house.

On this information, I proceeded through the centre of the establishment in search of the counting-house; but I soon found it necessary to make further enquiries, for the place was so strangely divided and subdivided by endless masses of merchandize, that I at first turned to the right and then to the left, till the interior of the premises appeared like some huge commercial maze—while those young men who were acquainted with my object seemed amused in leaving me to find it as best I could. At length, announcing my arrival at the counting-house by a gentle tap on the door, an immediate invitation—"come in"—in a sonorous voice, at once introduced me to the junior partner of the firm, who was seated at his desk busily engaged in writing.

"I beg pardon, sir, for interrupting you, but I merely wish to deliver this letter," I said.

"Letter—from whom?" enquired Mr. Branch.

"From—from myself, sir," I nervously replied.

"On what subject?" said Mr. Branch.

"It's an application for a situation, sir, if you please."

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"Comply with the conditions of the advertisement and apply by letter," continued the gentleman, without taking his pen from paper or staying the work on which he was engaged.

"I have already done that, sir, and also taken the liberty of placing the letter on the desk before you."

"Then, unless you deem your letter of more importance to me than that on which I am engaged, you may go."

"Good morning, sir," was my reply.

On withdrawing from the presence of Mr. Branch, the only return to my parting salute was a side glance from that gentleman towards my person as I closed the door of the office. When I had regained the street, a loud tap on the warehouse window, accompanied by a signal from a young man within, had the effect of again bringing me into the establishment, when I was told to return to the office I had just left, as Mr. Branch wished to see me.

I had often before heard that a sudden surprise may have the effect of sending the human heart into its owner's mouth, but at this moment mine appeared to be making violent efforts to escape from bondage altogether. As I tremulously returned to the private counting-house of Mr. Branch, certain rapid heavings in a sensitive region told me I might have to appear before my late inquisitor without any heart at all. Faint as was my chance of success in the simple order issued by a gentleman for another interview, or second sight, it, nevertheless, was the only glimmer even of distant hope I had yet seen in any of my fruitless endeavours. The novelty of the little spark was so exciting that it actually made me tremble for its vitality, or through fear of its early extinction. In this state I re-entered the counting-house of Mr. Branch, who was now engaged, not in writing his own letter but in reading page 72mine. The fevered pulse of the most feverish of patients never reached a higher rate of speed than was attained by mine during the few silent moments occupied by Mr. Branch in reading my appeal for a situation. The acuteness of the sensation was intense, and its intensity was rather increased than diminished by the first few words that broke silence only to agitate suspense:—

"Ah!" exclaimed Mr. Branch, as he laid the letter on his desk. "What was the name?" he said, again looking at the signature. "Frank!—Frank is it? Well; the letter seems frank enough certainly. It tells me you are an orphan; but you are neither better nor worse for that, I suppose? You appear very anxious for something to do; what are you fit for, lad?"

Beyond the involuntary liquid drop the occasion gave rise to, an ineffectual movement of the lips was the only reply.

"Oh! if that's all you're fit for, I'm afraid you—sit down, lad, sit down."

A seat was a relief, at least, to the body. As my interrogator extended the interval of silence by looking at his newspaper, I felt that any silly and obtrusive tear that comes when it is not wanted ought to have been previously buried in the bosom of the ocean. To the utmost depths thereof did I wish consigned that which now discomposed me.

"How long have you been in London?" enquired Mr. Branch, with his eyes rather than his attention directed to the newspaper.

"Fi—fi—nearly six weeks, sir."

"You say in your letter you are ready to engage in anything in which you would have an opportunity of working your way upward? Lads too often promise what page 73they fail to perform. You mean what you say, I suppose?"

"Always, sir."

"And intend to practise what you promise?"

"If I could only have the chance, sir."

"Then you shall have it," said Mr. Branch.

Again I was almost overcome—no longer with suspense but joy—but encouragement now made strength of mind too powerful for a second display of weakness in another region.

"The terms on which youths are received into our establishment are these:—They receive, in return for three years' service, board and lodging, together with such knowledge of the department in which they may be placed as may be acquired by their own industry and ability. We never accept a premium, nor retain in our employ any one not worthy retention. On the other hand, the services of a youth have sometimes been found sufficiently meritorious to entitle him to some pecuniary mark of recognition before the expiration of his term. As a preliminary step to this arrangement, we generally receive a youth for two or three months on trial. Are you prepared for the first test?"

"Quite prepared, sir, and will do my best."

"That will be your business; it will be ours to estimate the value of your best. With what friend or relation do you now reside?"

"At present, sir, I am in lodgings."

"Lodgings! Then, whom do you expect, during your three years' term, to supply you with clothes?"

"I—I think, sir, I have nearly enough to last that time."

"Well," said Mr. Branch, with a smile, "I will write to one of the gentlemen in your native town to whom you page 74refer. Should he have nothing to say to your disadvantage, you may enter on your duties in this establishment at nine o'clock in the morning on the first of the ensuing month."

Experience induces me to believe that great excitement at any important moment, while it impresses the mind with the chief object, tends to mystify or efface the details of any incident from which such excitement may arise. Soon after the period of the above-named interview I attempted to discover, but have not yet discovered, the manner in which I took leave of Mr. Branch, after having received the joyful announcement of my first commercial engagement. According to the natural course of things, I must have passed from that gentleman's presence, through the warehouse, into the street. But the mode of my escape has ever been a mystery. From the close of the sentence that told me I was to enter on my duties in the establishment on the first of the ensuing month, till I found that on going backward at the corner of the street to get a good view of the exterior of the premises I had upset an apple-stall, the passage remains blank.

The collision with the apple-stall, followed by a volley of abuse from its female proprietor, had the effect of shaking the mind out of its pleasing abstraction. From this point the veil is withdrawn from the memory. The apple-woman at once raised me to that state of consciousness that made my position as clear as the stall I had upset. I was too happy, however, to feel any concern for the mishap, beyond a desire to make compensation for the same. The award of a shilling at once elicited from my abuser the consolatory declaration that "a jintleman always acts as sich." From this point, all, at present, went smooth. I thought the streets, the people, and everything I passed, looked brighter and better than they had ever looked before page 75—brighter at least, than they appeared during my three weeks' search for what I had now secured. Even Kitty, the dirty little maid who opened the door at my lodgings, became an attractive object; and although I had never exchanged words with the girl, except on some domestic subject similar to that of the "beans and bacon," yet, on this occasion I remember to have said, "well, Kitty, I've got a situation at last."

When a night's repose had calmed the excitement of the preceding day, I found time to discover a few of the immediate wants occasioned by success. The chief of these was a desire to leave for ever the lodging in which my hourly fear was that of having again to encounter, either in kindness or anger, a landlady whose character was altogether beyond my power of comprehension. Fifteen days had to expire to bring the first of the ensuing month—the time appointed for the opening of my commercial duties. I had only four shillings to offer Mrs. Pepper in part payment of six shillings and sixpence, now due for a week's lodging. After this lady's unpalatable accusation concerning my breakfast, and the consequent reduction made by me in the quantity thereof, a cup of coffee and a slice of bread and butter, at a little shop in the vicinity, had often served me as an early dinner. The proprietor of this house had both the manner and appearance of respectability, and I resolved to make all the circumstances of my position known to this person, and ask him to receive me for a fortnight into his house. He at once assented and declined to accept, as security for payment, the most valuable article—my watch—I possessed, although he supplied me with half-a-crown to complete the amount due to Mrs. Pepper.

"It never rains but it pours." I now began to think page 76that, on a small scale, my own case was about to illustrate this well-known adage. One goodly stream of fortune that had but yesterday refreshed a drooping spirit after a long drought, was to-day followed by another, while a successor was yet at hand. On reaching the lodging I was about to vacate, Kitty gave me a small sealed parcel which, during my absence, had been left by the person from whom a little parcel had previously been received. The delivery of the second packet was simply accompanied by a repetition of the message left with the first, viz.,—"Frank might guess the person who sent it." I did guess and, so far as related to the value of the parcel, the guess was a correct one, but whether it was equally so with regard to the person from whom the packet came will presently appear. For the receipt of the five pound Bank of England note which was wrapped up in a bit of brown paper, I at once considered myself indebted to the young gentleman whose delay in the fulfilment of his promise had induced me, in my own mind, to libel him as a faithless friend. The only mystery about the note appeared to be the absence of all communication on the subject, beyond a repetition of the verbal message that had been left with the previous guinea. But I resolved to write to my country friend from my new lodging. With this determination, I tried to fortify my nerves for a final interview with a landlady of whom I stood in fear—although the possession of means for the discharge of her claim supplied me, in the place of a large amount of former fear, with a proportionate degree of independence.

"Kitty says you wish to see me," said Mrs. Pepper, as she entered my apartment.

"I owe you for a week's lodging, Mrs. Pepper," was my reply.

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"I believe you do; but if you owed me for two weeks it would be all the same."

"But the amount would not be the same, Mrs. Pepper?"

"Well, that's very true; but you know what I mean; it's the same thing whether you pay this week or next week, or the week arter, for the matter o' that. I shall be satisfied anyhow."

"I hope so, Mrs. Pepper, and as my week expires to-day, I wish to satisfy you before I go."

"Why, you're not a going out again to-day? It's not good for you, young man, to walk so much. Do rest a little. I was just a going to send you up a little bit of gooseberry tart. Don't spare the sugar, for the berries are mortally sour. As we've got no cream, you'll find a little milk take off the sharpness. I'll tell Kitty to bring you up a little."

"Really, Mrs. Pepper, I am much obliged to you, but I'd rather be excused. I don't think you understood me when I talked of going?"

"Understood! Of course I understood. You are a going to your situation—but not to-day; and when you do go I s'pose you'll sleep here at nights? The young people don't live in the house there, do they? But what day are you a going—in about a fortnight, I believe?"

"Yes; I go to my situation in a fortnight, but I am going from here to-day."

"Oh!" exclaimed the landlady, with a frown as long and angry as that of a sulky child, "if that's the case, young man, I see through it all. But I don't blame you; it's him as gave security for you who's done it."

"Him who gave security for me?" I enquired in amazement.

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"Yes; for your board and lodging, and promised something for the maid. Honest John, as you call him; it's to him you're a going, I s'pose?"

"Indeed it is not," I said, as the blood seemed to fire my every vein, "and after your promise, Mrs. Pepper, I am surprised you should have called on him."

"Are you, though?" said the landlady with a sneer. "At your age, young man, you should not be surprised at anything; but you'll not be quite so young when you are a little older."

"I am old enough to know that," I replied, having now greater contempt than fear for a woman who had broken faith and revealed my position to those from whom I wished to withhold it. "Again, Mrs. Pepper, I tell you I am very much surprised that you should have called on John at all."

"And, again, I tell you, young man, that at your age you must not be surprised at anything. One of your size to talk to a person of my experience. Wait till you're full grown; perhaps you never will be. It's my opinion you never was full grown, not as a baby; you must a been born rather young, or you'd know more 'an you do."

"If you change this note and take the six and sixpence to which you are entitled, I shall be out of your debt, madam," I said, at the same time placing a five pound note on the table.

"And this is all one gets for doing a good turn," said Mrs. Pepper, taking up the note. "You'd a never had the note nor the guinea, nor any part of it, if it hadn't a been for me—ask the man you're a going to else. Didn't I tell him all about you, and all about the country friend as cheated you; and didn't he say he'd send the self same sums as you had lost, and send 'em page 79all anonmously? Ask him if I didn't tell him all, and if he didn't thank me for taking compassion on you? But, as I'm a woman, it's the last time I ever concerns myself for the benefit of another."

Mrs. Pepper now left the room, but returned in a few moments with what she called "the balance" from the bank-note.

"Your bill, with extras, is eighteen shillings. There's the balance," said the landlady, as she placed four pounds two shillings on the table, and again left the room without saying another word.

From this moment I had no desire to see, and never again saw, the woman who had now ceased to be my landlady. The portrait of the character she had previously left on my mind received its final touch from the extras by which a bill of six and sixpence was suddenly raised to eighteen shillings. Whether justly or unjustly, I decided that the original of the picture belonged to the second class of number ones to which Honest John had directed my attention, when he informed me that the various characters to be found in the way of the world might be divided into two classes. After Kitty had been satisfied with a few shillings from the change returned by her mistress, I shouldered my trunk and started for the new lodgings, in which I received every comfort and attention.

It was not till the day preceding that on which I entered my first situation that I found sufficient courage to face the anonymous benefactor who had rescued me from my difficulties. The imaginary friend whose companionship caused those difficulties proved false. To the secret aid of Honest John I was alone indebted for the relief of troubles his good advice had failed to avert. But fearing his anger would accord with my own deserts, I delayed page 80my visit till the day that prefaced the opening of my commercial duties, and the visit was then enforced rather by a sense of gratitude for great kindness, than by a desire for a personal acknowledgement of the same.

Dreary darkness is not more directly opposed to cheerful light than was my anticipated gloomy reception at the hands of Honest John to the sunny one which Honest John accorded me. In place of expected frowns and merited censure, I received nothing but smiles and encouragement. Instead of being upbraided by a list of past errors, I was only commended for good intentions in the future. Reference to bygone folly was never made, except in the sorrow expressed for the penalty I had paid for it. The faithlessness of my early companion was not even alluded to, except in the hope that I might meet with friends more worthy of confidence. But this generous sympathy created in my mind a deeper impression of the mistakes I had made than if they had been presented and condemned in the darkest colors. Now, and not till now, I felt the real value of parental or guardian love. When my father lived I never felt the want of a father's protecting care, and therefore never knew its inestimable worth. Here I found a second father—not of kindred birth and station—in the faithful servant of the first. Honest John evinced that tender regard for my welfare that every affectionate parent cherishes for his child. May every youthful heart learn the true worth of the first family jewel while its mortal spirit survives, for there are but few who ever find a second. Father and mother are often unheeded, sometimes unloved, while living. Would it be thus if children discovered the worth of their parents before they lost them? On this, the evening preceding my mercantile probation, I was enabled to estimate the real page 81value of the protector I had lost, by the worth of the one I had gained. Never did youth feel greater reverence for his father, nor a more affectionate regard for his sister, than that entertained by me for Honest John and the gentle Amy, as I took a dutiful farewell about twelve hours before the time fixed for the dawn of my commercial life.

On telling John that no person could judge of the contents of the house I was about to enter by its external appearance, he Said—

"That house is like the heart of man—remember that, Frank. You can only judge of the interior by becoming acquainted with its contents. It is even so with the human structure. Judge no one by outward appearances. Like the external aspect of the establishment you are about to enter, the outward form or figure of a man is by no means a sure sign of the stuff within. It may be good, or it may be good for nothing. This knowledge can only be obtained through your dealings with the owner. But if you'd take a hint from an old traveller, and one who has had some narrow escapes in the way of the world, remember, Frank, that rough ground is less dangerous than a slippery surface."