… There is always this danger of deceiving oneself. I feel it, too. I only begin to get rid of it by trying and trying to relax—to give way. I am sure you will understand why it is so hard to write. We don't move in our letters. We say the same things over and over.

As I tried to explain, I'm in such a state of transition. I could not, if I would, get back to the old life and I can't deal with the new. But anxiety I never feel. Perhaps I shall. I cannot tell.