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Bliss and Other Stories

8

8

" Good morning, Mrs. Jones."

" Oh, good morning, Mrs. Smith. I'm so glad to see you. Have you brought your children ? "

" Yes, I've brought both my twins. I have had another baby since I saw you last, but she came so suddenly that I haven't had time to make her any clothes, yet. So I left her. . . . How is your husband ? "

" Oh, he is very well, thank you. At least he had a nawful cold but Queen Victoria—she's my godmother, you know—sent him a case of pineapples and that cured it im—mediately. Is that your new servant ? "

" Yes, her name's Gwen. I've only had her two days. Oh, Gwen, this is my friend. Mrs. Smith." page 43" Good morning, Mrs. Smith. Dinner won't be ready for about ten minutes."

" I don't think you ought to introduce me to the servant. I think I ought to just begin talking to her."

" Well, she's more of a lady-help than a servant and you do introduce lady-helps, I know, because Mrs. Samuel Josephs had one."

" Oh, well, it doesn't matter," said the servant, carelessly, beating up a chocolate custard with half a broken clothes peg. The dinner was baking beautifully on a concrete step. She began to lay the cloth on a pink garden seat. In front of each person she put two geranium leaf plates, a pine needle fork and a twig knife. There were three daisy heads on a laurel leaf for poached eggs, some slices of fuchsia petal cold beef, some lovely little rissoles made of earth and water and dandelion seeds, and the chocolate custard which she had decided to serve in the pawa shell she had cooked it in.

" You needn't trouble about my children," said Mrs. Smith graciously. " If you'll just take this bottle and fill it at the tap—I mean at the dairy."

" Oh, all right," said Gwen, and she whispered to Mrs. Jones : " Shall I go and ask Alice for a little bit of real milk ? "

But someone called from the front of the house and the luncheon party melted away, leaving the charming table, leaving the rissoles and the poached page 44eggs to the ants and to an old snail who pushed his quivering horns over the edge of the garden seat and began to nibble a geranium plate.

" Come round to the front, children. Pip and Rags have come."

The Trout boys were the cousins Kezia had mentioned to the storeman. They lived about a mile away in a house called Monkey Tree Cottage. Pip was tall for his age, with lank black hair and a white face, but Rags was very small and so thin that when he was undressed his shoulder blades stuck out like two little wings. They had a mongrel dog with pale blue eyes and a long tail turned up at the end who followed them everywhere ; he was called Snooker. They spent half their time combing and brushing Snooker and dosing him with various awful mixtures concocted by Pip, and kept secretly by him in a broken jug covered with an old kettle lid. Even faithful little Rags was not allowed to know the full secret of these mixtures. . . . Take some carbolic tooth powder and a pinch of sulphur powdered up fine, and perhaps a bit of starch to stiffen up Snooker's coat. . . . But that was not all; Rags privately thought that the rest was gun-powder. . . . And he never was allowed to help with the mixing because of the danger. . . . " Why if a spot of this flew in your eye, you would be blinded for life," Pip would say, stirring the mixture with an iron spoon. " And there's always the chance—just the chance, mind you—of it page 45exploding if you whack it hard enough. . . . Two spoons of this in a kerosene tin will be enough to kill thousands of fleas." But Snooker spent all his spare time biting and snuffling, and he stank abominably.

" It's because he is such a grand fighting dog," Pip would say. " All fighting dogs smell."

The Trout boys had often spent the day with the Burnells in town, but now that they lived in this fine house and boncer garden they were inclined to be very friendly. Besides, both of them liked playing with girls—Pip, because he could fox them so, and because Lottie was so easily frightened, and Rags for a shameful reason. He adored dolls. How he would look at a doll as it lay asleep, speaking in a whisper and smiling timidly, and what a treat it was to him to be allowed to hold one. . . .

" Curve your arms round her. Don't keep them stiff like that. You'll drop her," Isabel would say sternly.

Now they were standing on the verandah and holding back Snooker who wanted to go into the house but wasn't allowed to because Aunt Linda hated decent dogs.

" We came over in the bus with Mum," they said, " and we're going to spend the afternoon with you. We brought over a batch of our gingerbread for Aunt Linda. Our Minnie made it. It's all over nuts," page 46" I skinned the almonds," said Pip. " I just stuck my hand into a saucepan of boiling water and grabbed them out and gave them a kind of pinch and the nuts flew out of the skins, some of them as high as the ceiling. Didn't they, Rags ? "

Rags nodded. " When they make cakes at our place," said Pip, " we always stay in the kitchen, Rags and me, and I get the bowl and he gets the spoon and the egg beater. Sponge cake's best. It's all frothy stuff, then."

He ran down the verandah steps to the lawn, planted his hands on the grass, bent forward, and just did not stand on his head.

" That lawn's all bumpy," he said. " You have to have a flat place for standing on your head. I can walk round the monkey tree on my head at our place. Can't I, Rags ? "

" Nearly," said Rags faintly.

" Stand on your head on the verandah. That's quite flat," said Kezia.

" No, smarty," said Pip. " You have to do it on something soft, Because if you give a jerk and fall over, something in your neck goes click, and it breaks off. Dad told me."

" Oh, do let's play something," said Kezia.

" Very well," said Isabel quickly, " we'll play hospitals. I will be the nurse and Pip can be the doctor and you and Lottie and Rags can be the sick people."

Lottie didn't want to play that, because last time page 47Pip had squeezed something down her throat and it hurt awfully.

" Pooh," scoffed Pip. " It was only the juice out of a bit of mandarin peel."

" Well, let's play ladies," said Isabel. " Pip can be the father and you can be all our dear little children."

" I hate playing ladies," said Kezia. " You always make us go to church hand in hand and come home and go to bed."

Suddenly Pip took a filthy handkerchief out of his pocket. " Snooker ! Here, sir," he called. But Snooker, as usual, tried to sneak away, his tail between his legs. Pip leapt on top of him, and pressed him between his knees.

" Keep his head firm, Rags," he said, and he tied the handkerchief round Snooker's head with a funny knot sticking up at the top.

" Whatever is that for ? " asked Lottie.

" It's to train his ears to grow more close to his head—see ? " said Pip. " All fighting dogs have ears that lie back. But Snooker's ears are a bit too soft."

" I know," said Kezia. " They are always turning inside out. I hate that."

Snooker lay down, made one feeble effort with his paw to get the handkerchief off, but finding he could not, trailed after the children, shivering with misery.