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Chapter XXX.

Two years after her exit, Elmy Main landed once more in her native town of Bonsby. He grief at parting with her kind benefactors was too deep for words; even the "Good-bye" froze in her heart. It was not the separation altogether she dreaded. It was the having to stand alone. Throughout the time of preparation necessity had buoyed up the fainting spirits; but with the removal of necessity came the removal of strength. As the vessel moved away, and she realized that the distance between her beloved friends and herself was gradually increasing, Nellie's false strength gave way. For hours she lay groaning in spirit, and refusing to be comforted. All the persuasions of the kind stewardesses were of no avail. She would not stir from her bunk, where she had thrown herself in her abandonment of grief. When at last the first paroxysm had passed, and she was prevailed upon to go on deck, it was only to look with hungering eyes along the ship's wake; and to feel her heart sink like lead at the near approach of her destination. Truly it was time she left her pleasant life, else she would become of no great use in the world. Her dream-land of ease was unfitting her for the rough sea shore. Surrounded by those loving friends, she may be able to bathe in the waters of Time; to gaze across the river. But that is not all that is needed for a soldier of Christ. Those waters must be brought into subjection. The Dark-faced Ferryman must be made to surrender, and his net must be torn to shreds.

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This grief may seem strange to the reader. Why should there be such a dread of returning to her native place in Nellie's heart? I hardly know; but there seems to me a strange affinity between mental and physical susceptibilities. As the flesh quivers at the reappearance of the physician's mutilating knife; so also the lacerated heart shudders at the reappearance of those circumstances and places enshrouded in so much pain and pleasure.

Night fell ere the vessel entered the Bay. The little launch steamed alongside, received her freight, and tore off again, leaving the great steamer despoiled of half her attractions, and laughing at the sullen gloomy monster out in the dark. Up to the wharf this lively little sea-carriage glided, and bade her drivers dismount. With swift steady steps, a small figure, clad in a long loose mantle, mounted the gangway and disappeared in the crowd on the wharf. No one recognised the thin white face and delicate frame. No one could connect with it the once bright lively tomboy. Two years had indeed wrought their changes, turning the child into a woman. She stood well back in the shadow of the lights, watching for her luggage, when a hand was laid upon her arm, and a voice of eager doubtfulness whispered, "Nellie!" She turned quickly. "Grace!" There was silence for a few minutes, while sister was clasped in the arms of sister. Nellie never forgot that meeting, and in after days the remembrance of her sister's kindness in coming to welcome the wanderer home, was the means of passing over to that sister a happiness that could have been her own.

"How did you know I was coming, Grace?" asked Nellie, looking up at her tall sister, who stood almost head and shoulders above herself.

"We suspected. The letters, you know. But someone else is here to welcome you home, Nellie."

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"Who?" asked Nellie glancing around.

"Your old mother," answered a voice at her side, and there sure enough was the mother with her tearful smile. Thus although in parting there had been pain and derision; in re-union there was pleasure and reconciliation. Do as we please we cannot alter God's purposes; and whether in obedience or in rebellion; whether in pain or in rejoicing, His will is being done in defiance of man's feeble remonstrances.

Mother and daughters drove home in the moonlight, and peace reigned in the dissevered home. With ravishing delight Bonsby's gossipers seized upon this tempting bit of news, and entertained one another with graphic descriptions regarding Nellie's appearance, and bearing, and many other items peculiar to feminine curiosity. While the tiny bird circle at first looked askance at her, but finding that no notice was taken of them, and that their opinions were regarded with not so much as a hearing, they veered round and sought to draw attention by condescending patronage. Even that did not win an access, and finally they were obliged to retire—well—rather mystified. Nellie had learned, during her absence, to build up her character and promptings on a surer foundation than that of the opinions and approbations of her fellow sojourners.

Once, and once only did she take an active part in pecuniary discussions. Not that money matters were entirely dispensed with, necessity, or perhaps better, appearances, required that they should be considered in her presence, but she became a "dead head" as it were; listening without speaking, judging without giving a verdict; apparently a puppet to be considered in name alone.

In the earlier part of our narrative we purposely refrained from mentioning pecuniary matters, for the reason that it seems sacrilege to do so, when the heart is well nigh page 360maddened with the pain of bereavement and remorseful gnawings. Nevertheless, such matters did exist, so also the troubles arising from such matters. It will be remembered, however, that we mentioned that the last weight which broke the camel's back, was not a diamond, but a straw. Then it may be understood that these money troubles was the straw of our story. Still there is no need to describe the nature of this straw; everyone, more or less, has been made acquainted with title deeds, transfers and signatures, and the hundred and one devil heads of the Modern Hydra, Law. What a pity we have not a Modern Hercules to complete the legend and slay the monster.

The once indicated was on the second evening after Nellie's arrival. The whole family had gathered together in the Main drawing Room, to discuss the contents of one of those letters Nellie had received on that memorable day, when she decided to return home. The second letter as the reader probably guesses, was the one from Mrs. Alen, Senior. At the close of the family discussion, Nellie drew herself apart, and in her quiet determined way, told them that henceforth her voice would be heard no more in matters connected with money.

"You do not agree with me," added she in conclusion, "that we give up to these distant relatives what they demand from us as their just due, and in a worldly point of view—nay, in all points of view—you are right. Nevertheless, I will not be my father's exhumer, as I was his grave-digger. I would rather resign every penny of his hard-earned money, and by my own exertions become the bread-winner of the family, than drag the dead from the grave to answer, whether false or true, for things done in the flesh. While he was in the flesh, he did the things of the flesh, and our own experiences with our fleshy natures, reveal too plainly that such deeds are seldom, if ever, un-page 361alloyed; but now that he is in the spirit, no mortal has the right nor the authority to meddle with him. The least in in the kingdom of Heaven is greater than the greatest on earth. It therefore behaves us to make reparation, if needed, without applying to the dead for an explanation. However, I have no more to do with the affair. I have suffered too keenly and too recently to be anxious to enter again into the torturing rack of money squabbles.

"Are we to understand that you cast off the duty imposed upon you by your father? And do you know that the world will look upon you as unworthy of his trust?"

"You are to understand that a Higher Father has imposed upon me a Higher Duty, a more dignified office than that of filling a vacancy among the crowd of gnashing, foaming, money-governors. You are to understand that my father, being now in the spirit, looks at things through spiritual eyes, and that, seeing further in his immortality than he did in his mortality, he has released me from his former commands, and has placed a new command upon his child; that of keeping his memory green, and his name untarnished, by living a virtuous peaceful life. Thus in obeying the one I fulfil my duty to both parents. As for the world's opinion, Pshaw! I count that as nothing. In the midst of the world I stand alone. I take nothing from it, therefore I give it nothing in return. Too long have I hearkened to its cringing promises of reward; too deeply have I felt its faithlessness to its promises. I have done with it for ever, and I defy its power."

"Then you have nothing more to do with the estate?"

"Nothing, save in name alone. I leave the management of such matters in the hands of those who find pleasure in their administration."

The meeting broke up and the parties dispersed; many inwardly declaring that Nellie was not only a fool, but also page 362a religious fanatic, who cared nothing for pounds, shillings and pence. If they had seen her but an hour afterwards, counting up every item of expenditure, and balancing her accounts, they would have changed their opinion. However they did not, and to this present day Nellie is thought of as the despiser of Gold. The reason of the difference between the two modes of treatment, was, that in the latter case, an account was being rendered unto God for money lent; in the former the money account collided with the moral, which collision resulted in the destruction of the weaker power. Let it be understood that christians do not consider it a sacred duty to relinquish all connections with pecuniary matters; on the contrary, they are more careful of their pounds, shillings and pence, than is their worldly brother, for they realize that their money was entrusted unto their care for the purpose of improving their own condition morally and physically, and also for helping along their less favoured companion. Whereas the world-wise-brother confines the use of his property to himself and to his physical surronndings; deeming it waste in his brother spending on moral culture, that which he himself would have spent upon physical comforts. We sympathize with the calculating man who calls it folly to deny one self the luxuries of life in order to promote the prosperity of a poor neighbour; and we agree with him that there would be more sense in carpeting the floor with costly carpets, and in levelling the lawns and gravelling the paths, than there is in sending the superfluous earnings to help support a thankless community: indeed all the logic would be on his side were it not for the fact that a Christian's expenditure is upon such stock as will bring him in a two-fold return; which returns go toward beautifying their permanent home. What kind of sense, think you, would there be in raising Capital for the purpose of beautifying a temporary abode, page 363when by the exercise of a little patience, sufficient Interest could be obtained to luxuriate a perpetual home. While at the same time that capital is so deposited as to be the means of eking out the limited supply of a poorer companion, and indeed to be his main substance leading to higher things. Methinks this is not a question of religious fanaticism, but a plain practical piece of logic, which even the business satiated man cannot fail to understand. As for moral culture—if the being is to take its place in a higher standard of life, is it not necessary for that being to pass through such training as to fit it for gracing such eminence? How then can moral culture be carried on without moral expenditure? Methinks this is a piece of logic which even the society lady cannot fail to understand. Beside all this arguing there is another, perhaps more forcible, being taught by the sense of sight. What man, having spent all his substance on his home, or his earthly comforts, is, really comfortable, really satisfied. If he were so, he would not so often seek new attractions, new phases of life. It is inherent in man to be dissatisfied, and all the wealth and influence of Solomon will not take away that inherent craving after fresh scenes. A much more valuable elixir is needed to satisfy the human soul.

Not many days after this pecuniary discussion, a cablegram arrived telling the Mains to take no further steps in the matter; Cousin May's eldest son bearing explanatory notes, was coming to them across the water. One can guess the commotion occasioned in the Main household at the reception of this tiny bit of news. For days nothing else was talked about,—"I wonder what he is like." "Who could have believed that such connections existed."

The preparations made for his welcoming were many; and the plans drawn out for his enjoyment past numbers.

In the mean time Nellie took up her life in a strange sad dreary style. Day after day she would wander around page 364and about her home, scarcely speaking a word. The place never echoed with her favourite song; its melody was hushed in the reminiscence of the past. The elder children grew tired of appealing to deaf ears and withdrew their sympathies; the younger gazed at her from afar and firmly refused to acknowledge her presence. But Nellie took no notice, and lived on in an atmosphere of her own: an atmosphere full of sad sad spirits. Ah! some may be able to bury a father with less concern than can others; may forget him after the lapse of a few weeks, and growing weary of a seclusion which is meaningless to them, may be able to cast it off and resume their ordinary life. Some may feel the bereavement very acutely at first, but as time passes, and circumstances alter, the pain becomes as a dream to be recalled to remembrance at the sound of only certain strains. But with some, bereavement stops neither at words nor feelings; it finds its utterances in the Stillness of the Hereafter. The rolling on of Time, and the changing of Circumstances, serve to widen and deepen the great loss. Those things which for a time were forgotten, start up and gape at them with every turn of the wheel, every change of the life. Womanhood's trials cry for a father's bosom whereon to sob out their soreness. Manhood's impetuosity needs the grasp of a father's moderation hand. And even our own paternal officiation may throw fresh light upon that tomb.

Soon the town and its surroundings became distasteful to Nellie; she longed for—yet dared not ask—a change. But one day, the owner of what was once her father's station, released her from her prison, and carried her off to his home in the country; and strange to say, this man was none other than our old friend Mr. Watson. He was married now, had grown up children. I wonder if he ever thought of a fair girl in a far off heathen land.

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This may seem strange proceedings on Nellie's part, to seek to find comfort in the very midst of the memorabilia. But it must be understood that every item spoke of that father's living presence. It was here the happiest part of his life was spent: happy by being filled with unaccomplished ambition. It was here the sparks of a fully developed enterprising nature, were caught by the weak newly born soul of its offspring, and by that offspring, nourished and converted into a blazing furnace almost equal to its own. It was here among the cornfields, and the sheep pens, that the child had first discovered in the parent those hidden gems that were to be transferred to her own nature, enhancing its sparkle, and giving it strength: and it was here that the spirit of reverence made every blade, every stone, speak to the Sorrowing Left, of the Beloved Departed, in the angel language of Love. We leave her for a while in her country home, and we return to town, and retrace our steps to an incident which took place the week after her arrival in Bonsby.