page 21

Chapter III.

Why are you so late, Nellie?"

"I met Iwand at the gate, and stayed a few minutes saying good-bye."

"Met Iwand at the gate! Stayed saying good-bye! What next? You, a child of your age, to go sweethearting! The world is certainly coming to an end. Look here, my girl, don't let me catch you at that trick again. And as for that—; I am sure I don't know what to call him; if he comes sneaking about my gate he will get more than he bargains for."

Nellie stood still and listened to this volume of scathing words. At first she was surprised; then she felt afraid; finally indignation obtained the mastery. Turning away with a bursting heart, she exclaimed, "Do not fear, mother. Iwand will never be at your gate again. He has gone away for years, perhaps for good."

"Well for you and for himself that he has. Do not give me any more of your impertinence." And before Nellie could realize her mother's intentions, she had received a smart box on the ears.

With her head thrown back, her little hands clenched, her heart one living flame of rebellion, Nellie sought her room, and, flinging herself upon the floor, uttered a low agonizing moan. For several minutes she lay as still as death, her one thought to get away from this injustice. Presently steps were heard coming along the passage. "I page 22will not let them see me thus," she cried, and, springing up, she began to busy herself about the room.

"Are you going to be there all night? You sulky little thing! Go and see the children to bed."

The mother passed on, and the daughter obeyed. She put the children to bed. She tucked the clothes around them. She kissed each little face, and was returning to her room when she heard her own name called. "Tay wis me, tister. I's so flightened of the dark." The girl turned back, and, sinking down beside the cot, began humming a sweet hymn tune.

"A little child shall lead them." Yes, though often unperceived, little children are leading the whole world. The father looks upon his child and learns to form his plans or his sermons. The mother turns to her babe to teach her love and patience. The brother takes his sister in his arms and learns to be gentle. The book containing the essay on simplicity is taken, by the sister, to her little baby brother to be revised and taught. Little children lead on. We love your guidance. You heal the wounds in our feet as we pass over thorns and stones. You encourage us in our faith, for you remind us of our own happy simple childhood. Well fitted are ye to become the instruments by which many of God's mighty works are done.

Baby fell asleep, but Nellie sat on. "I am not wicked. I don't care. I am not wicked. I shall run away. I shall drown myself, and then they will be sorry they ever said such things to me." These and similar thoughts kept chasing one another through her brain. "I'll go to father." She rose to go, but again her footsteps faltered. The room in which she stood was in darkness, but a light from the inner room threw its reflection on the opposite wall page 23of the passage. A strange fascination seemed to be in that light. The eyes of the girl were fixed upon it. Gradually the reflection grew into shape: gradually the darkness vanished; and lo! there appeared the form of something surpassingly beautiful. Her eyes followed the whole outline of that radiant figure. From beauty it changed into glory. A sensitive child, Nellie had grown into a sensitive girl. Loving the beautiful, unconsciously she had created in her imagination an image which she worshipped, paying it tribute by surrounding it with all that was beautiful and pure. Was it to be wondered, then, that that apparition corresponded to, and surpassed, the nature of her soul. Her entranced gaze rested upon the face. She recognized it. It was the face of her self-made idol. Tenderness, Love, Pity: all that her soul yearned for was personified there. For a minute, which seemed an age, she stood enervated by that radiant vision. No fear entered her young heart—nothing but a deep, reverent, hungering love shone there. As gradually and as silently as it came, so gradually so silently did that vision pass away. The halo of light which environed it lingered awhile, then followed. The artificial reflection returned and resumed its position on the opposite wall. The room was again in darkness, and that which was from Heaven had returned to the place from whence it came. But the environments were not as if that vision had never appeared. In the heart and in the future works of the beholder was interwoven the effect of that tender, wistful smile. The full meaning of that revelation Nellie did not realize just then; but there came a time when she would understand its purpose, and when she would lean upon its power. That revelation enabled her to declare the reality of the Godhead, and, in the face of the enemy darkness, to prove she has seen the divine yet human, the majestic yet compassionate face of her Saviour. page 24Ah, unconscious Nellie, thou needest that preparation to strengthen thee for thy coming trials.

As yet, a strange peace filled her soul; a new life surged through her being; and a transformed creature stepped from a darkened room into a dimly lighted hall; from which hall she would be led into that bright court of conversion, there to remain until the door of her heavenly mansion opened for her admittance.

In what close proximity is conversion's court to Heaven's mansion. The illumination of the latter is almost sufficient to light up, by its reflection alone, the darkness of the former. Perhaps with the throwing open of that partition door that secret will be divulged—the secret of the everlastingness of the conversion of the faithful. Thus, although the joyous light of conversion had not broken upon that half-awakened soul, and although the heart had not tasted the flavour of the waters of Heaven, yet the way was being prepared for those enjoyments; and the priority of this apparition was necessary in order that its individuality might not be thought the fruits of imagination. We close this chapter. The workings of a free spirit, undefined and unlimited, have entered a heart, leaving no room for bitterness or rebellion; preparing the balm for the soothing of heartache. Many may scoff, few will understand these workings. To those who understand, we add, Pray God to add like blessings to you and yours. Then the unstable life will be established, and all that which is false will fade in the light of that glorious, sorrowful smile. But to those who scoff, scoff on. Yet, if you be parents, and have children, think of them. They, too, will have longings and cravings you cannot satisfy. Will you heap upon them wealth and pleasure, telling them that is all they need? Fathers, a daughter pleads. If you do not page 25believe in things that are higher than earthly pleasures, let your children do so. Know that that which satisfies you at one time does not satisfy you always. The end of life is an action too evident to be slighted. On such an occasion the knowledge that your children have enjoyed some peace will give you comfort—let that peace be, as you deem it, a ghost of fancy.

Rejoice! These words are not for us, a young man cries. We have no daughters, no children. Our excuses are great, for unless a man be shewn he cannot understand. Young man, unless a man be willing to learn he will never know. And, in the absence of daughter teachers, there are sisters, mothers. What do you say to them? That these lessons are for women and mollycoddles alone? As for you, wonderfully wise you! You are going to see and enjoy life! Poor imbecile! Modern Solomon! Was Paul a mollycoddle? Did effeminacy excite the noble actions of Luther? And the great men of past and present, to what is their celebrity due? "These Lessons." Honoured women, blessed mollycoddles, since these are the results of thy effeminate teaching, thy "goody-goody" privileges. A question. Enjoying life, seeing life, are you sure you are expressing yourself correctly? Child of Socrates, thou wrongest thyself. In the midst of the brawl and the turmoil, where is that elfish answerer? Who utters that taunting word? Past the mind, through the heart, into the very depth of the soul, the only receptacle of truth, that dark elf dwells and utters its incessant "No." Believe me, I do not seek to wean you from your amusements; neither do I wish to make you believe we have no trials. But, O! I long to see you happy. You charge us with hypocrisy. You quote our wrong-doings. Think a little. Would you have us angels? beings without the prerogative of doing wrong? Then, by your own seeking, you would so page 26distinctly mark our separation as to make communication impossible. How could we enter into your hopes? how could we sympathise with your ambitions? Do not mistake the Christian's life (I mean the life of the ordinary Christian). Sins and failings are dark and dire indeed when committed by the converted; but, then, repentance wipes out the stains, and the sinner rejoices in his pardon. Would you remain inexorable under such circumstances, unforgiving, unmerciful? I trust that no man has such attributes. Then, think you, our God does less than does his creatures? Is the created more merciful than the Creator? My brothers, these are not unreasonable words; they do not proceed from a selfish desire. They are the expressions of a faith that has been tried and that has failed; that has risen and fought and failed again; that has continued the strife, often in despair, seldom in hope, until, in response to its passionate cry, "Who have I to go to but Thee? I tell thee, O Lord! I will not let Thee go except Thou bless me;" the answer to that petition has been the establishment of that faith, once so weak, now so strong; once vanquished, now victorious. Come, O doubter, even if curiosity prompt thee, come and prove its truth. Come, for Truth is attractive at all times, and it holds out an open book to all timid children.