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Typo: A Monthly Newspaper and Literary Review, Volume 1
[miscellaneous paragraphs]
Fortune-tellers claim to rule the planets. Artists and novelists might make similar pretensions, such liberties do they take with the heavenly bodies. A critic lately went through the Royal Academy exhibition of paintings, noting the relative aspects of the sun and moon, and found some strange phenomena represented. The star-besprinkled skies in an ordinary engraving are altogether unlike anything ever seen in the heavens. The southern cross is a familiar object enough, and a favorite emblem; but we have never seen it correctly represented outside of a star map. Not long since, in a popular Australian story, the hero, after gazing on the sunset, turned and watched the faint crescent moon arise in the eastern heavens, apparently without the slightest surprise at the wonderful sight. Mr Proctor, the astronomer, in reading King Solomon's Mines, was particularly impressed by a solar eclipse which remained total for half-an-hour, and occurred the day after full moon and two days after new moon. Beside this unique phenomenon, the other marvels of the book are insignificant. Even in the simple matter of disposal of shadows, artists sometimes produce remarkable effects. A favorite cut in American specimen books, (No. 3664 Zeese; No. 1555 Cincinnati), represents a landscape with an obelisk and palms, and an enormous sun on the horizon. Something in the picture appears seriously wrong at the first glance. The illumination does not proceed from the heavens at all. Two sides of the obelisk are turned from the sun. One of these is in deep shadow—the other in brilliant light.
page 69
Politics have been played very low in New Zealand during the present contest. The inmates of refuges contribute nothing to the taxes, but have the same electoral rights as the rest of the community. This is, however, the first time that they have been registered wholesale. The Napier roll has « Old Men's Home » as the place of abode in numerous cases. In Otago a pauper writes to a « liberal » (« Liberal » being in this topsy-turvy land nearly equivalent to « Tory » in England) organ that he has placed ninety-three names of inmates of the Benevolent Institution on the Roll, and boasts that they will « give a block vote for Rutherford, and turn the election. » He candidly adds that they know nothing of Rutherford except that he is « the nominee of the Protection League. » Next week we will look with some interest to see whether Dunedin pauperdom has succeeded in turning the scale. It might be supposed that this is the lowest deep; but it is not so. Six months residence qualifies, and crime does not disqualify. Therefore, last general election, a prisoner who had been sent from the country to a town jail and had just served a sentence of six months' hard labor, thereby qualifying, was seized by a committee, placed on the roll, and his vote recorded!
Some of the candidates in the South Island have had very unpleasant experiences. Eggs, flour-bags, dead cats, rats, and other objectionable missiles have come freely into requisition—these being apparently the best arguments the protectionist league could discover to confute the free-trade speakers. But in the Ashburton district, Canterbury, a candidate has had an adventure which exceeds anything yet recorded. By some mistake, the schoolhouse where he was to deliver his address had not been opened; and standing on the steps, he announced that his meeting must be postponed. Thereupon, he was pelted with stones and clods, and fled, hotly pursued by both horsemen and foot. He was chased two miles, mud and tussocks soaked in water were hurled at him, and at last he took refuge under a culvert. When dragged thence in an exhausted condition, he begged his tormentors to put him out of his misery at once. The ringleaders in the outrage are known; but we regret to say that « for political reasons, » the injured man declines to bring them to justice.
A contemporary is enthusiastic over the reception at a railway station of a candidate, who was welcomed by « the wringing voices of five hundred working men. » Thus remorselessly does the type-setter wreck the finest rhetoric, wring the heart of the editor, and fill him with wrath. — The quiet of an Otago up-country journalist is disturbed by a « booming monster » of a church-bell, the « nightly peeling » of which is a nuisance. At this rate the nuisance should rapidly disappear, even if the bell has many coats as an onion. — Taranaki folk think a great deal of their breakwater, and guard it from injury with touching solicitude. We learn from a local paper that an iron railing has just been placed there « with a view to protection from persons incautiously going over the end. »— For a ball in Invercargill it is announced that « the dance tickets will be limited to the size of the hall. » Upon which a contemporary remarks that it must be the fashion down south to have very small halls or very large tickets. — An Otago volunteer corps is thirsting for the blood of the reporter who described their new drill-shed as « 10 feet long. » Only a 1 dropped into the 8 box. — « Gentlemen with fireplaces » can find accommodation with a Napier advertiser who has apartments to let. — A daily contemporary refers to « the accent of a Swiss mountain. » A foreign accent, we presume. — A fervid political article, full of sound and fury, concludes with the assertion that « the eyes of the country are now concentrated upon every man. » This being too transcendental for us, we passed it on to our Poet, who comments as follows:
Though Argus had a hundred eyes,
And every eye asquint—
Yet could she not perform the feat
Thus spoken of in print.