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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 13, Issue 10 (January 2, 1939)

There's Gold in That Thar Bowl

There's Gold in That Thar Bowl.

Goldfish, too, ‘ave got life down to fundymentals, just goin’ round an’ round their bowls without any corners to bump into. That's the trouble with ‘uman life, sir—corners! Instead of a well rounded existence like that there bowl ‘uman beings spread corners about to bump their shins on. But with goldfish it's always smooth goin'; they just swim round and round seein’ everything from every angle an’ gettin’ broadminded an’ tolerant.
“Bad Form”

Bad Form

There's no need to cover the goldfish bowl with a towel when you sneak a quiet one in the evening or use a knife on the baby's money-box. They see so much of life that nothing shocks ‘em. An’ yet there are people who even suspeck goldfish. A lady comes in the other day, looks at Wilkins doin’ ‘is acquatics with ‘is usual languid grace, an’ says ‘Is ‘e a good swimmer?'

“‘I can't guarantee it, lady,’ says I ‘All I can tell you is that ‘e's been him-mersed in that water ever since I've ‘ad ‘im and ‘e's never cried ‘elp'! once.'

You don't want to worry about their expression, sir; they've not really sneer-in’ at you. They get like that through constantly swallowin’ water. ‘Oo wouldn't, sir? It must be ‘orrible. But their expression makes ‘em difficult to sell, sir, for no gent likes to think that the goldfish sneer at ‘im even if ‘e is married.

Well, good-bye, sir. Any time you feel sort of fed-up with yourself come an’ sit with the animals. They won't mind.”