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The Modesty of Genius.

I always regards Douglas as an objeck lesson, sir. Sort of clerical ‘e looks in is black an’ white an’ a face that y’ might meet at the bar. Put a wig on Douglas an’ I guarantee you'd ‘and ‘im six and eightpence kind of automatic. Many a ‘uman bein’ with a face like that would feel bound to walk ponderous an’ look solemn as though ‘e knew things which was a mystery to everyone else. They'd make money out of a face like the Black Douglas's. But Douglas ‘as the modesty of genius. ‘E knows that there's not much fun in jest ownin’ a face and sellin’ it at six an’ eight a time. ‘E knows that the real fun of life is seein’ gents jump an’ lose their dignity which ‘as cost them so much misery to cultivate.

Excuse me, sir, while I lift Columbus off your collar. Explorin’ little things, white mice, ain't they? Nearly killed an ole gent, Columbus did. ‘It's got me!’ moans the ole party. ‘It's goin’ up me leg. It's creepin’ paralysis.'

“‘Tut, tut!’ says I, takin’ a rumble to the situashun. ‘That's not creepin’ paralysis, that's creepin’ Columbus.’ An’ sure enough, there was Columbus examinin’ the ole gent's suspender which was branded ‘Made in U.S.A.’ It took two dog powders to bring the ole gentleman round.