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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 13, Issue 10 (January 2, 1939)



I've seen the same ‘aunted look on the faces of trained fleas an’ vacuum-cleaner salesmen—kind of ‘Oliver-Twiss-askin'-for-more.’ Ideas! That's what's the matter with the world to-day. Too many people with too many ideas to get off their chests. Some nut ‘oo's failed in all the natural pershoots of life such as mindin’ his own business, bein’ happy with ‘imself an’ tolerable with others, thinks up a ‘cause’ from all the odds an’ ends of ignerance at ‘is disposal, gives it a name endin’ with ‘ism’ and persuades other nuts nuttier than himself to fight for it. This ‘ere ismism, which ‘as spread like an epidermic through the ranks of civilisation, ‘as never took toll of the animal kingdom. That's why I like ‘em an’ respeck their intelligence. They are not took in by anything that don't smell like the real Mackie. They've got a nose that detecks delooshuns and snares. It's a pity, sir, that ‘uman bein's ‘ave lost the art of sniffin’ trouble, on account of livin’ so long with their noses stuck up in the air instead of gettin’ them down to earth.