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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 13, Issue 9 (December 1, 1938)

Making a Bird Of It

Making a Bird Of It.

The only sure method is to begin snooping on the intended victims of your generosity months before the happy season and studying them in their own homes where they can be themselves without hurting anyone else.

By this means you note that grandpa always comes up blowing after immersion in his cup of tea. Consequently you buy him a moustache cup and so escape the embarrassment of presenting him with a surf board or a rubber whale.

If you note that a friend upon whom you are determined to commit kindness frequents milk bars you may safely buy him a mug with Donald Duck on it, or a choclate mouse. If, on the other hand, he likes bars but dislikes milk, you will buy him a quart of gin or an ice-bag for his head.

If you discover, after lying in the laurels for several nights that your Aunt Hermoine chews tobacco in secret, you are set if you get her a Popeye brooch or a gilt sextant to enable her to take a shot at the sun. Either of these is more subtle than a plug of Niggerhead twist.

A Christmas Carry-All (Not By Dickens)

A Christmas Carry-All (Not By Dickens)

If you are a husband you buy your wife the best pipe procurable, and if a wife you buy your husband six pairs of the best silk stockings. This prevents misunderstanding and mental exhaustion and someone is bound to be pleased.

If you have children you can safely get them all the things they don't want and then blame it on to Father Christmas. Taking it full and buy, Christmas giftitude is the greatest gift of all.

So, here's to a merry Christmas and may you receive as good as you give.

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