Radio Rambles.

But the radio is a great stimulant to conversational belligerence. Immediately the radio lifts up its voice someone is bound to say, “Listen to this; this is good.” and then explains why it is good, with variations. One thing leads to another, and sundry items just as good, if not better, are explained in dreadful detail. Competition between the broadcasting board and the domestic reconteur runs high, and the broadcasting boys usually lose by a nose.

Speaking of radio rambles, the question of individual preference is a factor in livening up domiciliary monotony. Father has a weakness for the political pops from 2 O.Gee. Mother is all for the Gardening Notes from 1-I.C. For three years she has been endeavouring to find what will

“Young Waldo is following up that stupendous, colossal, soul-slaughtering drama, ‘The Man with the Green Face’.”

annihilate pink woofits on her scrambled-egg plants. Myrtle likes to “swing it” with Rudy Vallee. Young Waldo is following up that stupendous, colossal, soul-slaughtering serial, “The Man with the Green Face.” He has just heard the end of “Blood on the Steering-Wheel” and “Death in Plus-Fours,” and is looking forward to a real good wallow in horror before hitting the kapok.

Father sneaks furtively to the radio and tunes into the political arena while mother's attention is diverted by an altercation with Waldo concerning the disappearance of half a steak pudding. But suddenly she halts hostilities and with a cry of “Gardening Notes!” throws herself on the radio. “Bah,” snarls father as the gardening expert's voice comes through with, “my talk to-night is on barber's rash on harebells …”

“If you took more interest in the grounds the place wouldn't look like the hanging gardens of Babel,” she says, and adds a number of pungent postscripts. Myrtle takes advantage of the diversion to dally with Rudy and his Malady Maniacs. Father suddenly shouts, “Turn off that tripe!!!”

Myrtle unleashes the voice of protest. Mother joins forces to rout the ranter; passions run high. Meanwhile Waldo tunes into “The Man with the Verdigris Map” just in time to hear him laugh maniacally whilst he lowers Mervyn Musclebound into the pit of alligators which snap their jaws with a sound like doors slamming. But before the Musclebound's legs are shorn off at the hips, the whole household suddenly turns on Waldo in a united front and snatches his alligators from him. All agree that, however, much they disagree among themselves, men with green faces are not good for growing boys. Waldo kicks up all the mats and goes to bed vowing that he'll go to the dogs as soon as he is old enough. The radio suddenly bursts into “The Old Folks at Home” and the family sinks into a temporary coma.

Such is the power of the spoken word.