Health is wealth above barter. What you've got in yourself can't be counted in coin. The “Kick” of health is not in the “Kick.” It's in the “will-it” and not in the wallet.

Many a millionaire would exchange his wealth for health—a greater possession.

Truly, mind is mortgaged to muscle, mentality is leased to vitality, and health is the handmaiden of happiness.

If the flesh refuses the mind fuses. Body bosses “bean,” and success reposes halfway between brawn and brain.

Mind may illuminate personality, mentality may light individuality and thought redeem existence, but the white light of thought springs from the red corpuscle of health.

If you've ever had a liver
You will know that this is true,
When your feet are shod with treacle,
And your brain is bound with glue,
And your thoughts are damp and humid,
And you hate your fellow man,
And you feel that life's a washout
With the buzzing in your “pan.”
This is when you take a tumble
To the adage, proved at length,
That the fragrance of an onion
Is dependent on its strength.

The very essence of an onion is its pervading potency. An onion imposes its personality, it lingers in the memory, it swats you in the eye. Why? Because it vibrates virility, it quivers with quality, it gets you like a sergeant-major or an auctioneer, who represent the nearest approach to an onion's strength human nature has yet achieved. Sergeant-majors are the purple patches of physical felicity, and auctioneers never know when they're out-bid. We might take a tip from their technique and—

Make a hobby of the body,
Keep the curves from growing shoddy,
Mould the figure, watch each bulge,
Don't grow careless, don't indulge
In confections rich and cloying,
Such as pastry—form-destroying,
Never mind the mind—oh, girly!
Keep the hair upon it curly,
Watch the step, watch every cuticle
Of The Body Beautiful.
And, ladies, if we might be so bold!
You must seek the body-beautiful,
Pursue digestion dutiful,
If you want to be adorable,
Not physically deplorable,
You will have to keep the torso
Slim and supple—yes and more so,
You will have to brush your toes
Every morning with your nose.
If you really would be pliable,
With bodywork reliable,
Go in for callisthenics,
Have no fear of epidemics,
Keep your spirits up with diet,
And—oh, baby, what a riot!—
Get the figure slim and slinky,
And complexion pure and pinky,
And you'll catch 'em, lady, catch 'em!
Those are things that always fetch 'em,
You will find with swains more dutiful,
With the body beautiful.