Parenthood.
An Important Task.

“Thank heavens we're going away this Christmas! I couldn't bear another six-week vacation with the children at home all the time!” That remark showed me another mother who regards the school as a nursery-governess machine to relieve her of the worry of her children's company. She tacitly admits her lack of patience, and even more her lack of knowledge regarding children. She dreads the end of term because she does not know how to cope with the restless activity of her family, and regards even a holiday away in their company as slightly better than having them at home, because at least new scenes and new company distract their attention from her and direct their energies into new channels.

Most people have heard the remark that “School-teachers make the best parents.” I have no doubt that it is true, for school-teachers are the only section of the community who really know anything about children. The rest assume that parenthood, as a natural function, miraculously imbues them with knowledge and an instinctive ability in dealing with children. Even when the years have shown that their methods are producing little prigs or little “terrors,” they still pathetically cling to their belief that they, as fathers and mothers, know their job better than anybody else.

Among my acquaintances I have found that the most successful parents are those who realize their own ignorance in face of the greatness of the task they have undertaken—that of influencing, during the most impressionable years, another human being.

Rightly, these parents are self-critical. Are they being too repressive? Should they allow their child more freedom to mix with others, should he be reprimanded for venial offences, or, on the other hand, are they regarding his infant peccadilloes too lightly?

They discuss Mary and Billy with other young and equally ignorant parents. Perhaps they have a friend who is a successful school-master, and consult him—the friend, probably for fear of offending (he knows, from experience, that parents are “kittle cattle”) answers casually, without giving as much help as he is really capable of giving.

Where children are specially difficult, a psychologist may be consulted (there are special clinics for this purpose), and the resultant knowledge may be of immense help to the parents.

A few men and women take their task of rearing the men and women of the future so seriously that, from the time a family is first planned, they study “the child” from all angles, with the help of books and any trained persons they can approach. Such parents are the successful ones. Besides, the satisfaction of knowing that they are doing perhaps the most worth-while job this world can offer, they have the pleasure of the company of young things, who, later on, will be interesting and able adults.

In some future short articles I will discuss some child problems which commonly beset parents.

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