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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 11, Issue 8 (November 2, 1936)

The Thirteenth Clue

page 37

The Thirteenth Clue.

(Continued from page 31).

sisted on travelling with him and the overloaded ‘plane crashed at Kaiwarra. The llamas escaped uninjured, but Impskill suffered a bad fracture of his false beard, which he had donned with professional ardour on receipt of the wire from “Gil.”

For this reason “Gil” was left lamenting (should we say lla-menting) alone in Matamata, and he was also left mourning by the graveside, as the body of Pat Lauder was lowered to its last resting place.

“Gil” had a terrible thirst on him that morning, and, unable to wait until he reached the nearest hotel, visited a suburban dairy where he demanded a glass of milk.

“A glass of milk” inquired the dairymaid, with unrestrained laughter.

“Oh, my pretty maid,” cried “Gil.” “You know something!” Even as he said this, he noticed on the counter a dangerous looking bread-knife. He produced Binge's photo of the wound, put two and two together, added seventeen for luck, and sent another urgent wire to Impskill as follows:—“Milkmaid involved in butter scandal stop cable Tooley Street stop Horsey lift your tail up stop butter still rising—‘Gil.’”

Meanwhile, owing to his enforced inactivity at Kaiwarra, Impskill was steadly putting on weight. By the time the ‘plane was repaired he had to discard all luggage, even his clothing. Eventually he caught the ‘plane attired in his false beard (repaired) and a pair of v's.

(W. W. Stewart Collection.) An imposing spectacle of power. Four “K” locomotives, the latest product of New Zealand Railway Engineers, at the running sheds at Auckland.

(W. W. Stewart Collection.)
An imposing spectacle of power. Four “K” locomotives, the latest product of New Zealand Railway Engineers, at the running sheds at Auckland.

When he reached Matamata the inquest on Pat Lauder had opened, “Gil” having prepared the whole case.

The first witness was the dairymaid, who tearfully admitted that in a fit of jealously—Pat Lauder having transferred his attentions to another lady (un-named)—she had stabbed her erstwhile lover with the bread-knife (produced). The butter stains (produced) were from the said bread-knife. Although there were indications on the body that deceased had been poisoned, garrotted, burnt alive, kicked to death, etc., etc., etc., witness was positive that the bread-knife was the primary cause of death.

Other evidence of a purely formal nature was given by C. Stuart Bury, who produced his account for the burial and who protested when it was treated as an exhibit; Dan Doolan, whose evidence was ruled as irrelevant as it dealt merely with the quantity and retail value of the beer supplied at the wake; and P.C. Fanning, who gave evidence in rebuttal of Hilson Wogg's supposition that death was due to a blow from a horse-shoe.

Amidst cheers the parcel of fishing bait was admitted as evidence and labelled exhibit Z.

Leslie Binge created a scene when he protested loudly against the non-admission, as an exhibit, of his photo. of the knife-wound. He grudgingly withdrew his protest when the coroner pointed out that, having reached exhibit Z, there was no alphabetical provision for further exhibits.

Just as the coroner was about to give his verdict, Impskill Lloyd rushed into the courtroom waving a dead llama by the tail.

In view of the fact that he was still attired in v's, the coroner ordered his arrest for contempt of court and was about to claim the v's as an exhibit when the milkmaid screamed, and Leslie Binge's camera went off with a loud report.

Then a strange thing happened!

(To be continued.)

Cigarettes, while the annual consumption in England, America, France, Germany and other countries runs into billions, are also becoming extraordinarily popular in New Zealand, where the demand has increased enormously since the introduction of the two famous cigarette tobaccos, Riverhead Gold and Desert Gold. These, but especially the former, may be classed as real luxury lines; pure, sweet, fragrant and soothing, they appeal irresistibly to smokers of both sexes, and challenge comparison with anything from overseas. Latterly, sales have eclipsed all previous records. Although so choice in quality, they are yet so comparatively moderate in price that you actually roll ten, full-sized smokes for fourpence! Both brands being toasted, therefore practically free from nicotine, may be freely indulged in without fear of consequences. The same remark applies to the three toasted pipe brands—Cut Plug No. 10 (Bullshead), Cavendish and Navy Cut No. 3 (Bulldog). But the fame of the genuine toasted has resulted in various rubbishy imitations finding their way on to the market. Ask for any of the brands named and you'll avoid being imposed upon.*

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