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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 11, Issue 3 (June 1, 1936)

Going To The Dogs

Going To The Dogs.

But dogs are true, true till debt, and after. They are so broad-minded that, even if they knew the truth about you, they would still look dog-like at you. A dog contains more foolish affection to the square inch than the average marriage license. Whether he is so
“Step on the cat's self-starter.”

“Step on the cat's self-starter.”

pure bred that he is ninety-nine per cent. pedigree and only one per cent. dog, or whether his antecedents are so confused that he couldn't bite himself without causing international complications, he is so full of faith in human nature that there is no room for discrimination. But human dogmatists are more fickle than faithful and, while loyal to Dog, their preferences vary from time to time as to dogs.

Fashion affects dogs as well as dresses and drinks. Thus, in the words of the following doggerel there are—

Dogs, dogs, all kinds of dogs;
Short dogs and Dachshunds
With torsos like logs.
Fat dogs, and thin dogs
That sag when they run;
Rum dogs and glum dogs,
And dogs full of fun.
Dogs without tillers,
And dogs without brains,
Hot dogs and cold dogs,
And watch dogs on chains.
Scotch dogs with whiskers,
And lurchers that leap,
Pug dogs that whimper
And wheeze in their sleep,
Danes dumb and dreary
That look like a bear

page 23

That's been through a mincer
And lost all its hair;
Bloodhounds and mudhounds,
And bulldogs that look
As if they've connected
With Dempsey's left-hook;
Gloomy Saint Bernards
Whose job (as you know)
Is rescuing travellers
Out in the snow;
Greyhounds, and whippets
That whip through the air,
Burly dogs, curly dogs,
Dogs almost bare;
Poms—shrilly pom-poms—
Dalmations, Alsatians,
Chow dogs and cow dogs,
And tykes of all nations.
Some time or other,
It's proper to say,
In public importance
Each dog's had his day.

So much for faithful Fido!