No Fact is Stranger than Fixing.

No fact is stranger than fixing. Have you never heard a fixer's wife imploring him, with straws in her hair, to spare the plumbing? No? Well you have never seen the depths of despair plumbed. A ship's fireman sobbing for beer, a cow calling its calf, even a citizen paying his income tax, sound as glee songs compared with the passionate poignancy in the voice of the fixer's wife. But all in vain!

“Leave it to me,” says the fixer. “It's only an airchoke in the what'dyer'call'it; I just unscrew the thingamy, pull out the brass gadget and blow through it.”

Says his wife. “You know what happened last time we got an artichoke in the what'der'call'it. I can still see the mark on your head.”

But of course the fixer must fix. The dread virus clamours in his veins. Result: One doctor, one fire brigade, one plumber with mate!