Wife: “I'm afraid the mountain air would disagree with me.”

Hubby: “My dear, it wouldn't dare.”

* * *

Julia's Sagacity.

Teacher was giving a lesson on the weather idiosyncrasies of winter.

“What is it,” she asked, “that comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb?”

And little Julia, in the back row, replied: “Father.”

* * *

Alas!

Mrs. 'Opkins: “You're not lookin’ too 'appy, Mrs. 'Iggs?”

Mrs. 'Iggs: “No, it's this 'ere uncertain weather. One day it's 'ot and the next it's cold; yer never know wot to pawn.”