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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 10, Issue 2 (May 1, 1935)

The Greatest Show on Earth

page 56

The Greatest Show on Earth

(Continued from page 53)

—if a trifle vigorous, the love of hero and heroine was of the clutch-as-clutch-can, two-way type of the good old days; and when he got down on his knees to bury his head in her lap, after being accused (wrongly, of course) of putting the old squire on the spot in the rhododendrons, anybody could see from the way her eyes swam—and even floated on their backs—that if he were to shoot up the whole company (including the manager) she would still love him in that good old fashioned way.

Also, the villain never failed to rouse such loathing in the sentimental hearts of the “gods” that beer bottles (empty, of course) were frequently hurled from the heights.

When Mellodrama was Mellow.

But for good clean murders, double-action heart-beats, and simple sin, Bland Holt had the modern synthetic sob-story licked to a frazzle. Of course, all the plots were the same plot, and everybody knew that finally the hero and heroine would be wedded in the old village church; that the last act would portray the villain, wearing broad arrows a yard long, chewing his moustachios to pulp in a cardboard cell of solid stone, while he hearkened to the hammers putting the finishing touches to the scaffold in the yard. Sometimes, when I see sordid sin posing on the silver sheet as drama, I long for a return of the days when melodrama was mellow.

“It would be a good thing for dentists if smoking had never been invented,” writes “Forceps” in a London journal devoted to dentistry, adding, “tobacco-smoke is one of the very finest preservatives of the teeth. It may discolour them sometimes but it frequently prolongs their usefulness to old age. Sweets, on the other hand, are the dentists' best friends. Children and women, who are always munching them, very often suffer badly from defective teeth, and I never pass a lolly-shop without wanting to take off my hat to it. But tobacco-smoke assuredly prevents decay.” So it does. But the tobacco should be a special quality. “Toasted” is ideal for the purpose, because, owing to the comparative absence of nicotine in it, it can be smoked so freely without affecting the health. All five brands of the genuine toasted—Cut Plug No. 10 (Bullshead), Navy Cut No. 3 (Bulldog), Cavendish, Riverhead Gold, and Desert Gold, are splendid teeth preservers, and more fragrant and delightful tobaccos are simply not to be had whatever price you may pay.

A Helpful Enginedriver.

An interesting and amusing instance of the various ways in which the South African Railways and Harbours serve the public, particularly the farming community, is contained in the following copy of a note handed to the driver of train No. 1400 at Mevamphlope, on the North Coast Line, on 10th August, by a farmer resident at Nyoko: “Will you oblige by whistling like hell as you pass through the farm in the hope of lifting the locusts. Thanks.” The driver acceded to the farmer's request and, from the latter's point of view, the ruse was quite successful. All the locusts took flight as the train roared through the farm, whistling continuously. They had their revenge on the driver, however, for the swarm settled in a railway cutting a few miles ahead and the train was delayed several hours on account of the engine wheels being unable to grip the rails.—“South African Railways and Harbours Magazine.”