Delirious Data and Demented Definitions.

For the benefit of the unasphyxiated I offer the following deleterious definitions and explanations in a purely unauthentic and care-free spirit, trusting you are the same:—

1. X wagons are used for drawing beer.

2. Railway couplings are young refreshment-room waitresses.

3. A railway platform is a place where strangers may kiss—and get away with it.

4. A railway “jigger” is a rowing boat without the boat.

5. A hot-box is connected with Willie's ear.

6. A turntable is where father sleeps when visitors come to stay.

7. A ganger is a Scotch walker.

8. The permanent way is a straight line drawn between home and work.

9. Shunters are neither here nor there—for any length of time.

10. The home signal is a dinner bell if you're in time, and a ringing in the ears if you're not.

Note.—Delete clauses 1 to 10.