The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 5, Issue 9 (April 1, 1931)
Joke Wit And Humour
Joke Wit And Humour
A Gentleman.
“Yes, my dear,” said the old lady, “there's one thing I'm thankful for, and that is that my daughter married a gentleman.”
“And ‘ow do you know 'e was a gentleman?” said her friend.
“Because I put 'im to the test,” replied the old lady. “The first time my daughter brought 'im 'ome, I gave ‘im a cup of 'ot tea, and when ‘e poured it out into 'is saucer, 'e didn't blow on it like any ordinary fellow, 'e fanned it with 'is 'at.”
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Domestic Humour.
“My husband never looked for work. He used to say it was a poor house that could only run one loafer.”—A witness in a New Zealand Police Court recently.
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Sarcastic.
A man entered a chemist shop very hurriedly and asked for a dozen two-grain quinine tablets.
“Do you want them put in a box, sir?” asked the assistant, as he was counting them out.
“Oh, no, certainly not,” replied the customer. “I am going to roll them home.”
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On Vacation.
Mrs. Brown: “Does your husband work, Mrs. Briggs?”
Mrs. Briggs: “Oh, yes. He sells toy balloons when there is a parade in town. What does your husband do?”
Mrs. Brown: “My husband sells smoked glasses when there is an eclipse of the sun.”
Ho! Hum!
But this month's prize goes to the Scotsman who sent the surgeon's bill to his father-in-law when he learned that his wife's tonsils really should have been taken out when she was a little girl.
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Don't be a Banana!
Co-operate; remember the banana—every time it leaves the bunch it gets skinned.
* * *
Bringing Him T(w)o.
Chemist (to motorist who had been carried into his store after an accident): “Yes, sir; you had rather a bad smash, but I managed to bring you to.”
Motorist: “I don't remember. Do you mind bringing me two more?”
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