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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 5, Issue 8 (February 1, 1931)

Weilding the Willow and Swinging the Lead

Weilding the Willow and Swinging the Lead.

Credit is like Cricket in that you are apt to get stumped if you lash out with page 10
“Man must either conquer or conk out.”

“Man must either conquer or conk out.”

abandon. Otherwise the resemblance is null and void, for Cricket demands all the qualities which have painted parts of the map pink; i.e., the determination of a porous plaster, a well oiled eye, an arm as tireless as a bowser-handle, the cunning of a hunted collar stud, the alacrity of a cat-burglar, and the swiftness of a dog-catcher. Cricket is not as batty as it looks; nevertheless and overmore ‘tis strange to witness otherwise moral ratepayers pelting each other with orbs of tailored bull's skin. If you have studied this game of hit-and-miss you will note that the assailant or balloonist strives to get under the guard of the defendant or batman by fair means or googley, and thus kill his goose by landing him for a duck. On the other hand the batter endeavours to paste the missile and thus render the bowler's cake dough in accordance with the rules laid down by the late Mrs. Beaton. The bat or stump-protector is a blunt instrument constructed mostly of willow, and the hero at the end of it is said to Wield The Willow, as the plumber swings the lead, and the butcher slings his hook or takes a cut off the leg. The Umpire is an unbiassed spectator, and wears a motor-coat to prove it. Although next to the horse he is the most perfect exponent of vertical slumber extant, he is rarely caught napping, and when appealed to immediately reacts vocally against popular public opinion. The Crease is called a crease because it is uncreased, and the batsman always comes out to go in, and often goes in to go out. Every cricket eleven is a band of hope, for the cricketer who fails to register hope may as well stay at home on Saturday afternoons and weed the garden, or do something equally as foolish.