Forgetting Their Manners.

There was great excitement aboard the liner.

“Man overboard!” was the cry. “Gentleman overboard, if you please.” said Mrs. De Snobbe indignantly. “That's my husband.”

* * *

Noose-Item.

“The bridegroom's gift to the bride was a handsome diamond brooch, besides many other beautiful things in cut glass.”

* * *

A Bun's a Bun.

Old gentleman (in the train about to start): “Here boy! here's twopence. Go to the refreshment room and get me a bun and one for yourself.”

Boy, after visit to refreshment room— running up to the train now moving— and eating a bun as he ran: “Here's your penny guv'nor— they only had one.”

* * *

The Real Question.

City Visitor: “Which is correct, to speak of a sitting hen or a setting hen?”

Farmer: “Don't know, and don't care. What I'd like to know is, when a hen cackles, has she laid or lied?”

* * *

The Price Appealed.

Two Scotchmen walked into a bar. One of them desired to purchase a bottle of whisky, but when he came to count the small change in his purse he found he had only twelve shillings and threepence. He turned to his companion and said: “Jock, give me threepence to get a bottle of whisky.”

Jock looked carefully in his purse, and produced a coin. “Here's sixpence.” he said. “Get a bottle for me, too.”

* * *

Breaking the News.

Maid: “You know the old vase you said had been handed down from generation to generation?”

Mistress: “Yes.”

Maid: “Well, this generation has dropped it.”

* * *

Affection for the “Iron Horse.”

“Hello, where have you been?” “To the station to see my wife off for a month's visit to her mother.”

“But your hands are all black!”

“I know— I patted the engine.”

* * *

Kindness to Animals.

“Oh, no, dear. I'm sure he's a kind man. I just heard him say he put his shirt on a horse which was scratched.”

Journey's End.
“Hurry, Honi; you'll miss the train.” “No, I t'ink I stop— this kai perry good— plenty train to-morrow.”