Modern Maladies.

Let us examine the N.Z.R. as a curative for such modern maladies as salesman's throat, that tyred feeling (common among road-hogs), curvature of the financial column (contracted by trying to make ends meet), lightness of the head (prevalent among the old-young and the young-old), Scotsman's cramp (usually in the hands), “spots” before the eyes, gold fever, financial frenzy, singing in the head (vulgarly known as the radio-rats) and numerous other disorders discovered by the statistician.

Anyhow, let us take it for granted that you lack that velvety feeling in the cylinders described by benzine boosters; that bounding irresistibility common to the “life of the party,” the man who fills the manager's chair after three lessons, and hard-boiled Hector who flickers through the “flickers” nightly.

You totter into the railway booking office, assisted by the taxi-driver and a sentimental policeman, feeling like the echo of a burst tyre.

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