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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 4, Issue 3 (July 1, 1929)

The Boneless Wonder

The Boneless Wonder.

But we must, in fairness to the inventor, admit that out of the riot of whirling wheels, there have arisen inventions which have proved a joy and a page 13 blessing to man. I refer most particularly to the boneless wonder, known vulgarly as the sausage, but recognised in scientific circles as “terrier incognito.” Certainly this overcoated enigma wears no wheels or other visible means of support, but nevertheless it has managed to keep up with the march of progress on its merits only. Truly, the proof of the sausage is in the plucking, but as collateral proof of the affection and regard in which it is held, let us contemplate the poignant and immortal lines of Xavier Oxblood, the piecart poet of Potsdam.

“Hanging by their finger-nails to the tails of their own inventions.

“Hanging by their finger-nails to the tails of their own inventions.

Consider the sausage
How it glows,
It coils not
Neither does it spin,
And yet I say
That Solomon
In all his glory,
Was not arrayed
In such a skin.

Verily, the sausage is a blessing in disguise; there are those who submit that the disguise is too complete, and others who say that it is too thin, but let us leave the verdict to experts like Edgar Wallace.

Suffice it to say that the humble sausage could aptly be described as the common bond of empires, and as such, should be utilised as the coat of arms of the League of Nations—say, a sausage quiescent on a field of dog-daisies, bearing the device “pro bono publico,” meaning of course, “we pick no bones in public.”