Youth Irrepressible.

Mother: “Johnny, did you change your stockings?”

Johnny: “Yes.”

Mother: “Yes, what?”

Johnny: “Yes, we have no bananas.”

* * *

Danger Point.

Up-To-Date Dentistry In The Wilds Of Africa.
Dentist just about to administer anaesthetic before releasing spring of patent Tooth Removing Machine.

Teacher: “Children, can any of you tell me what is the most dangerous part of an automobile?”

Tommy: “Yes, miss, I can! It's the driver.”

* * *

Must Have Been Potent.

“Did you get home all right last night, sir?” asked the street car conductor.

“Of course—why not?” replied the passenger.

“Well, when you got up to give your seat to that lady last night, you were the only two people in the car.”

* * *

Well Behaved.

Buy Your Own.

A prim and proper young miss was much horrified on the street to find a small boy, apparently not much over six years old, smoking a cigarette.

“Little boy,” she commanded, “throw down that horrid thing this minute.”

“Go hunt yet own lady,” answered the infant disdainfully; “I found this one myself.”

* * *

In Certain Places.

Stranger: “Ah, Mrs. Mudge, one-half of the world is ignorant how the other half lives.”

Mrs. Mudge: “Not in this village, Miss.”

* * *

Canned.

“What's the matter with you?”

“I wrote an article on fresh milk and the editor condensed it.”

Alow and Aloof.

Pat Murphy was taking his first flight in an airplane. The pilot was taking him over the city. When they were up about 3,000 feet the plane suddenly went into a nose-dive.

“Ha, ha!” laughed the pilot, shouting to Pat. “Fifty per cent. of the people down there thought we were falling.”

“Begorra,” admitted Pat, and 50 per cent. of the people up here thought so, too.”

* * *

Tough Luck.

“And how have you been getting on, Mrs. Mumble?”

“Ah, miss, not too well. My poor husband had a parallel stroke, and we've had a hard time to make both ends meet.”