The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 3, Issue 6 (October 1, 1928)
Marry a Beautiful Woman
Joggins, the Progressive Candidate, was sweeping all before him. His opponents were in bleak and black despair. The bookmakers had long ceased to take any odds on Joggins. “No race,” the pencillers said when anybody tried get a “bit” on.
The queer thing was that Joggins seemed to be courting unpopularity. He was very gruff, very sarcastic in answering questions at meetings. He refused to promise a single slot telephone. He gave a hearty laugh when an elector suggested that the village railway station should have a verandah. He ridiculed the craze for Efficiency; he declared that the old ways were good enough for him.
The other candidates tried the same tactics—and soon there was a shortage of eggs for miles around. The foolish imitators had to wear trench helmets and visors, and thick, padded overalls at every meeting.
Under the spell of Aurora men who had been old enemies of Joggins became new, firm friends. They joined his committee in cohorts; they piled up the fighting fund. They would not let Joggins “shout” for anybody. “Leave that to us,” they said—and he did cheerfully enough.
At Aurora's afternoon teas the spoons simply shovelled votes into Joggins' barrow.
The election was slaughter. The three opponents of Joggins lost their deposits—and much more. They were chased by the populace on the night of the poll. The fugutives ran well, but they were caught in the second mile, and they went home nude. The crowd said it was an unpardonable insult to Aurora Blanche that such persons should presume to oppose her husband.
It was also a sweeping victory for the Party. On the morning after the election the Leader sent a long urgent telegram to Joggins requesting him to accept the portfolio of Internal Affairs.
On the way to the telegraph office Joggins woke up—still a bachelor.page break