Proof-readers Please Note

We'll begin with box; but plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of mouse should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole nest of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice,
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be called cows, or kine,
But a bow, if repeated is never called bine;
And the plural of vow is vows, never vine.
If I speak of a foot and you show me two feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth, and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
If the singular's this, and the plural is these,
Should the plural of kiss ever be written keese?
Then one may be that, and the two would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose.
And the plural of cat is cats, and not cose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him.
But imagine the feminine, she, shis, and shim!
So the English, I think you will agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.
—“Typosium,” in the “Santa Fe Magazine.”