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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 2, Issue 2 (June 1, 1927)

Wit And Hunour

Wit And Hunour

A Difficulty Solved!

Two ladies sitting in a railway carriage fell into a dispute concerning the window, and called upon the guard to act as referee. “If the window is open,” declared one, “I shall catch cold and die.”

“If the window is shut,” said the other, “I shall suffocate.”

A man occupying the corner seat here interposed. “First open the window, guard. That will kill one. Next shut it: that will kill the other. Then we can all go to sleep.”

Recompense He missed the train, but caught the “post!”—(Adapted from Stampes)

Recompense
He missed the train, but caught the “post!”—(Adapted from Stampes)

A Fish Story.

It was at the village cricket match, and when the home team went into the field, it was noticed that a number of cats appeared and commenced to prowl round the wicket. “What is the meaning of that,” said one spectator who was a stranger, to a man sitting beside him. “It's always like that” was the reply, “when Stubbs goes in to keep the wicket. He is a fishmonger.”

Safety First!

Mummie: “I do wish you would not drink your tea out of your saucer, Johnny. Why do you not drink it from your cup?”

Johnny: “I have tried it once or twice mummie, but the spoon always gets in my eye.”

Wife at West Ham Police Court, London:—

“My husband has not given me any money since March.”

Husband: “Money! She pawned my watch and chain and even asked me to buy the ticket from her.”