Fried Eggs.—A simple dish, yet nourishing. How they should be treated. Break the egg, heat it, and eat it.

Fried Sausages.—Otherwise known as hot dogs, are best cooked like eggs.

Fried Onions—Give off a savoury odour at breakfast time and their strength varies in direct ratio to the amount of Spanish in their composition. They may be cooked like fried sausages.

Fried Fish.—The favourite food for Fridays. Robinson Crusoe proved it so. May be bought either as whole fish or filleted. The simplest method is to buy it ready fried.

No Pacifists Among Them.

Mrs. O'Flaherty and Mrs. Finnerty were having a little talk, Mrs. O'Flaherty belonging to the newly rich.

Mrs. Finnerty said to Mrs. O'Flaherty:

“Who were your ancestors?”

“Ancisters, what d'ye mean?”

“Why, who did you sphring from?”

“I would have you know Mrs. Finnerty that the O'Flahertys sphring from no wan; they sphring at them.”

* * *

Excited man (to taxi driver):—“My mother-in-law must catch that train, driver, so hurry up.”

The driver: “You can count on me sir, I shall drive as if she were my own.”

* * *

Master Willie, aged nine, came sniffling into the presence of his father.

“What's the matter with you?” demanded the parent. Willie stifled a sob. “I've just had a terrible scene with your wife,” he said.

* * *