No Pacifists Among Them.

Mrs. O'Flaherty and Mrs. Finnerty were having a little talk, Mrs. O'Flaherty belonging to the newly rich.

Mrs. Finnerty said to Mrs. O'Flaherty:

“Who were your ancestors?”

“Ancisters, what d'ye mean?”

“Why, who did you sphring from?”

“I would have you know Mrs. Finnerty that the O'Flahertys sphring from no wan; they sphring at them.”

* * *

Excited man (to taxi driver):—“My mother-in-law must catch that train, driver, so hurry up.”

The driver: “You can count on me sir, I shall drive as if she were my own.”

* * *

Master Willie, aged nine, came sniffling into the presence of his father.

“What's the matter with you?” demanded the parent. Willie stifled a sob. “I've just had a terrible scene with your wife,” he said.

* * *