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The New Zealand Railways Magazine, Volume 1, Issue 4 (August 24, 1926)

The Retort Courteous!

The Retort Courteous!

Irate passenger: How long is this train going to be this morning?

Guard: Four carriages and a brake van.

* * *

Two boys, invited by an austere aunt to spend a holiday with her agreed to toss for who should go. Dick arrived at the farm and was asked by his relative how he and not Tom had come. He explained that the matter had been settled by the expedient of tossing. “And you won?” inquired his aunt. “No,” replied the boy, “I lost.”

* * *

From the “Morning Post.” Concluding sentence from a North London Schoolboy's essay on the Duke of Wellington: “And when the Duke died he had a lovely funeral, and it took eight men to carry the beer.”