Just Meat.

The way that one thing leads to another is exemplified by the following story of a way-back farmer whose cow was killed by straying on the railway line. The loss of the cow led him to think of the insecurity of life's tenure and how the best laid schemes of cows and men gang aft agley, so he obtained two forms-one a claims schedule against the Railway, and the other a life insurance proposal.

In filling in the replies to queries he perpetrated the following:-

Re Insurance: Born! Yes.

Business? Poor.

Re Cow: Disposition of the carcase? Kind and gentle.

Abe's children (returning home with father) “Fader, ve vant a ride.”

Abe (hailing bus conductor): “How much for my Abe and Rachel to Commercial Road?”

Conductor: “Nothing, if they're under five years old.”

“Right you are. Drop 'em at de bottom of Commercial Road. I'll walk.”

* * *

Mr. Wood: “How is Mr. Stone and all the little pebbles?”

Mr. Stone: “Oh, quite well, thank you, and how is Mrs. Wood and all the little splinters?”

* * *

Teacher: Here, you young rascal! Why did you put this pin in my chair?

Bright Pupil: “I was just showing the class how nerve impulses are sent to the brain.”

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