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The Plutocrats [1937]

Chorus — The Devil's Own

Chorus

The Devil's Own.

We are the dames Etc.

Mr. Sausage.

Ladies - please-

Messalina.

We aren't ladies, Mr. Sausage.

Mr. Sausage.

Well, we won't go into that. But what are you doing here? Don't you know that we're about to embark on the business of the day?

Messalina.

But you forget that the other day you introduced woman suffrage.

Helen of Troy.

And we were all elected.

Lord Vere de Vere.

You remember - That day after you'd lunched with me at Hellamy's.

Mr. Sausage.

(Hastily) Of course - of course. Well - er -

page break

(The Devil's Own sit down. Messalina makes eyes at [unclear: Revt sctoon get] who retreats behind Lord Vere de Vere.)

Mr. Sausage.

And now gentlemen, to the business of the day. (Mr. Nemesis walks in right, carrying a bag of golf clubs. He wears plus fours, and a perfectly atrocious tie and frightful socks)

Mr. Sausage.

Are we never to embark on the business of the day?

Mr. Nemesis.

I'm not going to stand this state of affairs much longer.

Mr. Tight.

What's wrong with it?

Mr. Nemesis.

Everything! The whole system's wrong! You seem secure now, but retribution will get you in the end.

Lord Vere de Vere.

Which end?

Mr. Nemesis.

(irrelevantly) How's your golf, Messalina?

Messalina.

I go round in less and less every day.

Lord V de V.

(Humerously) Yes, we can guess that, but he asked about your golf.

Mr. Nemesis.

Because I think you and I will take a golfing holiday.

Lord V. de V.

Inother words, you're going to rat on us?

Mr. Nemesis.

I'm taking a short holiday, if that's what youm ean.

Mr. Mash.

Proceed.

Mr. Nemesis.

Yes, Go and get your things.

(Exit Messalina'. followed by the Devil's Own)

Mr. Flee.

(Mounting his box) Any more helpful hints on our economic system before you go on this - er - (suggestively) golfing excursion?

Mr. Nemesis.

Yes, There's no free speech in Dulce Domum.

Oliver Mash.

Free Speech? My dear man, you ought to hear Lord Vere de Vere at hes best - you'd realise that speech is not only free but good and gaudy.

(Enter Messalina left, carrying an extremely small suit-case.)

Messalina.

O.K.?

Mr. Nemesis.

Yes - but what on earth's that thing you're carrying?

Messalina.

Just my things - a change of clothes and a tooth brush.