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A Mid November Night's Dream Extrav 63. Opera House May 13-18

Songs from the Show

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Songs from the Show

A Song To Start The Show

1st student:

What's playing at the Opera House?

2nd student:

I'll tell you what's playing at the Opera House—the greatest show since Sid'olland went to a nightclub in Malaya and let a Singapore him. That's what's playing at the Opera House.

3rd student:

What are you guys doing?

Others:

We'll tell you what we guys are doing. We're keeping the audience amused until they've had time to finish writing the script. That's what we guys are doing.

3rd student:

What's happening back there?

Others:

We'll tell you what's happening back there. The students are preparing an eastern scene that'll knock the spots off Aly Khan's third wife's boudoir—that's what's happening back there.

All:

Yes, when students turn away from the scholastic The result is almost certain to be drastic.

1
Extravaganza's here
Bringing laughter and cheer
So sit back and enjoy the show we have
The dialogue is tame and the lyrics don't rhyme
And the dancing's so bad you'll surely be glad to leave
At half time.

2
You will see a guy
He's an M.P. of course
Giving shady stimulation to a horse
For it's dope the nag's a glutton
And the horse's name is well known
But the guy's only doing it in Extrav.

3
When you smell a gent
With Parisian scent
You can bet that he's stinking about Extrav
For he's been abroad for his countrymen's sake
But he must cease to roam and set out for home
Or his braces will break

4
When you see a guy
Floating out of the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for Extrav
He's a Killer, he's a Slayer
It's the P.M. in Malaya
But the guy's only doing it in Extrav

5
But if you see a joke
Give your neighbour a poke
Or he might miss the solitary gag we have
And if he's getting drowsy
Well you know he thinks we're lousy
But we'll still make him welcome at our Extrav.

The Delicate Delinquents

Dear kindly sir and madam, you gotta understand
Our parents we have had 'em, so we gets out of hand
Our mothers all are single, our fathers all are drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks.

Gee, Superintendent, we're very upset.
We never had the love that every child ought a get
We ain't no delinquents, we're misunderstood,
Deep down inside us there is good (there is good)
There is good, there is good, there is untapped good
Right inside the rest of us is good.

That's a touchin' good story, let me tell it to the world.
Just tell it to the magistrate!

Dear kindy, Mr. Scully, my parents treat me wrong
They go off to the pub each night and won't take me along
They didn't want to have me, but somehow I was had
Leave it, listen, that's why I'm so bad!
Right! Superintendent, you're really a square
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care
Its just his neurosis that oughta be curbed
He's psychologically disturbed (I'm disturbed)
We're disturbed, we're disturbed, we're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed.

Hear ye, hear ye, in the opinion of the court, this child
Is depraved on account of he hasn't had a normal home.
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.

My pa's an alcoholic, my mother walks the streets
My grandpa loves a frolic, grandma brews grog from sweets,
My sister wears a moustache, my brother wears a dress,
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess.
Yes! Superintendent you're really a slob
This boy don't need probation, just a good honest job
Society's played him a terrible trick And sociologically he's sick (I am sick)
We are sick, we are sick, we are sick, sick, sick,
Like we're sociologically sick.
In my opinion, this child does not need imprisonment at all,
Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease.

Hey! I got a social disease.
So take him to a social worker!

Vocation guidance bosses, they say go earn some dough,
And not be double crossers, which means like be a schmo,
It's not I'm anti-social, I'm only anti-work,
Glory askey, that's why I'm a jerk!

Gee, Superintendent, we're down on our knees,
'Cos no-one wants a fella with a social disease
Gee, Superintendent, what are we to do?
Else we will end up just like you! Just like you!

The Best of Hands

The country's in the very best of hands
The best of hands ... The best of hands
Wilf Owen says the national debt has never been so high
And government expenditures are climbing to the sky
It makes a fellow get a gleam of pride within his eye
To see how our economy expands
The country's in the very best of hands.
You ought to see the cabinet when they're drawing up a bill
Whereases and to wits are used to gild the pill
Such legal terminology would give your heart a thrill
There's phrases there that no one understands
The country's in the very best of hands.

Don't you believe those party hacks and ministers are dumb
When they run into problems that are tough to overcome
They leave them to a thing they call a referendum
Let people vote according to their glands
The country's in the very best of hands.

The voters are connected to the MP
The M.P's connected to the policy
When he's not connected to a policy
He sits around on his thighbones;
They sit around in this place they got
This parliamentary parking lot
Just sit around on their you know what
Up there they calls dem their thigh-bones.

Dem bones dem bones gonna rise again
Gonna exercise the franchise again
Gonna tax us up to our eyes again
When they get up off'n their thigh-bones
The country's in the very best of hands.