Other formats

    Adobe Portable Document Format file (facsimile images)   TEI XML file   ePub eBook file  

Connect

    mail icontwitter iconBlogspot iconrss icon

Capping 1932. Victoria University College. April 30th, May 2nd and 3rd, 1932.

Essay on the Dock

page 5

Essay on the Dock.

The Dock is a rare plant known as a common weed. This plant is an exotic growth, and requires several sturdy tugs to uproot it from its habitat. However, it flourishes quite well in a climate such as ours, but requires constant watering. In texture the Dock resembles the Iron Bark tree, and is not generally considered edible, though people with cast iron digestions say it has that rich nutty flavour.

The function of the Dock is to hang ships on to dry after an overdose of humidity.

Unlike most plants the Dock requires to be officially opened before it can be used for this purpose; but as the City fathers did not know this an ex-graduate decided to form a quorum (a very difficult feat) to officially open it himself to celebrate Capping Week. Being only an ex-graduate, however, he was a bit rusty and made a clerical error by opening the Dock below the Plimsoll line—not wisely but too well. This is known as a foul.

Divers explanations have been given for this regrettable breach, but none of them would hold water; this was a pity because the Dock happened to be tethered in the harbour on account of the moisture prevalent there, and before the opening ceremony could be completed—

"Down on its haunches it shuddered and sank."

This is called "ducking the Dock."