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Victoria College Students' Carnival. Friday, 20th June, 1919

"Der Tag" or "The Path of Progress" — A Musical Extravaganza by certain Students of Victoria University College

page 16

"Der Tag" or "The Path of Progress"

A Musical Extravaganza by certain Students of Victoria University College.

"Try to be Shakspeare, leave the rest to fate."—Browning.

"Now-a-days that which is not worth saying is sung."—Beaumarchais.

Our Philosophy.—

A Preface for Metaphysicians.

Our extravaganza conceals a "philosophic idea." It is this. The play is (as, indeed, all philosophies are) an attempt to "har monise our prejudices with our experience." Our prejudices are deep. In the first place we are optimists—and so think it worth while to attack a popular error. There is a growing opinion that the use of Force is immoral. Our second prejudice being found in the Idealist Doctrine, we consequently feel bound to deny the truth of this opinion. Satan—the spirit of Force—has been mis understood. In Sparta, muscle has the freest play: The Spartans had a healthy interest in this world and in no other very much. In the Middle Ages, the interest has changed to another world and Satan is repudiated. According to our analysis, in the Present the average man is indifferent to both this world and the next: the healthy human interest of the old world is gone, and the Hereafter (or Hereunder) robbed of its old stage properties, has lost its terrors. He puts in the time making money. As to the future, we see a reconciliation, a "higher synthesis" of the opposing elements. Force, controlled by Reason, achieves a spiritual significance: Satan, under the guidance of Japhetrow, stands at the foot of the ladder to take his part in the elevation of the race. Amen.

"In spite of professorial strictures,
Never believe what can't be taught
To you in coloured pictures."

—G. K. Chesterton.

Opening Chorus.

I.—Prologue.

"Peering in the future vast,
We have seen a sign at last."—

Capping Song.

Scene—Stage of the Opera House, Wellington.

Recitative—'Stock-taking" Parent & Guardian
Song—"The Four Experts" Hon. J. A. Hanan, Prof. T. A. Hunter, Parent & Guardian, Sir Francis Bell
Song—" The Guest of the Day" Satan

Run Through Chorus (I).

page 17

2.—The Spartan Day.

"This is no world to play with mammets and to tilt with lips;
We must have bloody noses and crack'd crowns."

—Shakspeare.

Scene—Outskirts of bush near Tauherenikau.
Soldiers' Chorus—"Trentham to Tauherenikau"
Song—"Barrack-room Ballad" Xerxes
Chorus—"Pro Sparta" Spartan Women
Chorus—"Farewell" All

Run Through Chorus (II).

3.—The Mediaeval Day.

"Deal him a deadly blow, and blessings shall reward you."—Bal Ballads.

Scene—A Public Place—Rome.
Chorus—"Dies Irae" Monks
Song—"The Prosecution" Leader of the Monks
Chorus—"Pro T. Aquinas" Villagers
Song—"Goodbye" T. Aquinas, the Hunter

Run Through Chorus (III).

The Cast.

"in all the play
There is not one word apt, one player fitted."

—Shakspeare.

I. Parent and Guardian Mr E. Evans

"I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players."—Shakspeare.

Prof. T. A. Hunter Mr. W. P. Pringle

"What have I done wrong that men praise me?"—Antisthenes.

Hon. J. A. Hanan Mr. E. R. Murphy

"Words, words, words!"—Shakspeare.

Sir Francis Bell Mr. W. Watkins

"The House of Lords represent no-one but themselves, and they possess the fullest confidence of their constituents."—Birrell.

Satan Mr. J. Byrne
II. Sergt.-Major Cheetah Mr. P. Martin Smith

"Not Understood."—Bracken.

"His gentle spirit rolls in the melody of souls."—Bab Ballads.

"The smith a mighty man is he."—Longfellow.

Xerxes Mr. E. K. Rishworthpage 18
Lieut.-Col. Purdy Mr. W. Watkins:

"Mislike me not for my complexion."—Shakspeare.

Commodore Pottah Mr. H. D. C. Adams

"Every cock is proud on his own dunghill."—Proverb.

Lord Liverpool Mr. A. J. Mazengarb

"God Save the King."

Dr. Thacker Mr. R. Scott

"As mild a mannered man as ever scuttled ship.

Spartan Soldiers and Spartan Women
III. Leader of Monks Mr. K. Low

"Let us pray."—Punch.

Thomas Aquinas, the Hunter Mr. W. P. Pringle

"What should I do at Rome? I know not how to lie."—Juvenal.

Duns Scotus Adamson Mr. H. G. Miller

"Audias effundere
Voces dignas Cicerone."

—J. "Rankin Brown.

A. T. Bothamley Mr. C. Q. Pope.

"A tall order!"

Monks and Villagers

Interval.

IV. Sir James Allen Mb. K. Low

"Sticks and stones will break my bones But names will never hurt me."

Earl of Pukekohe Mr. C. Q. Pope

"Blessed are the Peacemakers."

Baron Bluff Mr. L. C. Hemery

"I say the earth did shake when I was born."—Shakspeare.

The Butler Mr. W. A. Sheat

"No man is a hero to his valet.''—Plutarch.

Kun Low Mr. B.' G. Mitford
Genée Miss L. Leitch
Partner Mr. L. I. Day
Pavlova Miss M. Moore
Partner Mr. W. Watkins

Members of the National Government and various deputations of malcontents.

V. Japhetrow Wilson Mr. H. G. Miller

"The time is out of joint; O, cursed spite, That ever I was born to set it right."—Shakspeare.

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Shemenceau Mr. W. A. Sheat

" The chopping French we do not understand."—Shakspeare.

Hambloyd-George Mr. K. Low

"Now I perceive the Devil understands Welsh."—Shakspeare.

Satan Mr. N. Byrne.

"Every dog must have his day."—Swift.

Super men and super women.

"'Tis a pity that a Shakspeare's tongue Should say such un-Shakspearean things."—Gilbert.

Scenery kindly lent by the Wellington Amateur Operatic Company.

Conductor—Mr. F. P. Wilson

Pianist—Mr. J.C. Beaglehole

Stage Manager—Mr. H. D. C. Adams

Costumes specially designed by Miss M. Richmond

Producer—Mr. E. Evans

"On the stage he was natural, simple, affecting;
'Twas only that when he was off, he was acting."

—Goldsmith.

The Victoria University College Students' Association desires to express its sincere thanks to all those ladies and gentlemen who have so willingly given valuable assistance in the various activities of the Carnival.

4.—The Present Day.

"'Tis the day of the chattel,
Web to weave and corn to grind;
Things are in the saddle,
And ride mankind."

—Emereson.

Scene—Bellamy's.—A Temperance Banquet given by Sir J. Allen, as a welcome to The Earl of Puhekohe and Baron Bluff.

Chorus—"The Conquering Heroes." The Gnashional Govt.
Trio—"The Golden Fleece" Allen, Massey & Ward

Choruses by various sections of Malcontents

Run Through Chorus (IV).

5.—The Coming Day.

"O that I could find a country to live in where the facts are not brutal and the dreams not unreal."—G. B. Shaw.

Scene—Atlantis—The Isle of "The Blest"

Chorus—"The Dawn" The "Supers"
Trio—"Imperfect Peace" Shem, Ham and Jophat
Song and Chorus—"Going Up." Satan and the "Supers"

Final Chorus.

page 20

Absent Friends.

When their days are done and their course is run
In the lecture rooms and hallways,
Where the great ships go and the wild winds blow,
Do they pass and scatter all ways.
To the gleaming feast of the lurid East,
As described by Mr. Kipling,
In their endless quest through the wakeful West,
Go the strong man and the stripling.

Chorus:
In the wild and woolly places,
Where the strangest tales are told,
You will find their friendly faces,
And perhaps the Green and Gold,
One may be a bloated banker,
Or a chap with naught to spend,
So he be from Salamanca,
He is just an Absent Friend.

Or the Hand of Fate through the Golden Gate
May direct them in their roaming,
Where the buffaloes snort when they're "pinked" for sport
On the prairies of Wyoming.
Or where red deer spoors lie on Highland moors,
Is the "Sapientia Magis"
Still an honoured toast and a glorious boast,
As they sit beside the haggis.

Chorus:
You will see them come a-strolling
In some unsuspected land,
As you watch the ships a-coaling
By a queer old foreign strand,
One may be a bloated banker,
Or a chap with, naught to spend,
So he be from Salamanca,
He is just an Absent Friend.

Not a troopship rides on the guarded tides
To the warworn lands without them.
You will find them there where the bugles blare,
And the smoke hangs thick about them.
In the deathless charge up the gully's marge,
Where the echoes roll in thunder,
There the Green and Gold may be rent and holed,
But it's never down and under.

Chorus:
Ask the guns of old Kum Kaleh,
Ask the guns of Neuve Chapelle,
Who was foremost in the rally,
You will like their answer well.
He may be a simple ranker,
Or a chap with stars to lend,
So he be from Salamanca,
He is just an Absent Friend.

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When their backs are bent and their strength is spent,
And their heads have no more hair on,
In a few brief ticks they will reach the Styx
And the jetty owned by Charon.
With the heroes bold of the days of old
You will find them interimngling;
If you stroll that way on a holiday
It will set your ears a-tingling.

Chorus:
When you hear familiar laughter,
And the same old student songs,
That were hurled from roof and rafter
In the days where youth belongs.
Be it shade of bloated banker,
Or of chap with naught to spend,
So it came from Salamanca,
It is just an Absent Friend.

Sports Chorus.

—Weber.

From "The Golden Calf."

When air's like wine in sunny weather,
And the breeze blows cobwebs from the brains;
When Latin's folly, Law's a tether,
And the blood goes dancing through the veins!
Then hey! for where your fancy races,
Away from the city's stifling grip,
To the playing-fields and open spaces—
And let the world of toilers slip!

Then here's to the long wide road that reckons,
The climb that baffles, the risk that nerves;
And here's to the merry heart that reckons
The rough with the smooth, and never swerves!

Be it hockey stick or oval leather,
Or skiff, or racquet, rod or gun—
Here's luck! for the sport we've had together,
For chances lost and battles won;
For the wicket true, and field in fettle,
And the man who's safe for a tingling catch;
For the losing team that shows its mettle,
And the man who wins his heat from scratch.

Then here's to the sportsman that beckons,
The climb that baffles, the risk that nerves;
And here's to the merry heart that reckons
The rough with the smooth, and never swerves!

S.S.M.

page 23

The Conquering Heroes.

"How chance thou art returned so soon?"—Shakspeare.

Welcome to Joseph and salaams to our Bill,
They've been 12,000 miles and have not been ill.
All of the world has heard of Joe 's exploits,
And as for William—think of his deck quoits!

So welcome to William and kow-tow to our Joe,
Greatest of mortals and oppression's greatest foe!
Look how they shrink in charming modesty,
How truly Irish is the attitude you see!

So Welcome to William and salaams to our Bill!
Hail to the travellers who scorned to be ill!
All of the nations list to Joe's exploits,
And hail to the warrior, the champion at deck quoits.

Song of the Golden Fleece.

"They say there's but five upon this isle; we are three of them; if the other two be brained like us, the State totters."—Shakspeare.

Bill: Behold the pair that fixed the Peace—
And accomplished your heart's desire!

Joe: We made the American babbler cease—
And put up your wool price higher.

Both: And that should please our squatter friends
And make their enjoyment full!

Bill: Than the good of all we had no other ends—

Joe: But we raised the price of wool!

Bill: The times are right rosy, the coming days hold
Prosperous days for all.

Sir Jas.: But hold your blether, you pirates bold,
That answered the sick world's call—
And put up your wool price higher!
And learn that while you have everywhere whirled
Your bill has run up the slate!

Bill and Joe: But my dear Sir James, we've saved the world!

Sir Jas.: And meantime you've killed the State!

Bill and Joe: O. I say, we expected bouquets to be hurled!
It seems that isn't our fate.

Sir Jas.: The Bolsheviks triumph at every poll—
And Holland and Semple are in!
With women in Parliament, why, the whole
Derned show will be falling in!
To read "Quick March" leaves a nasty feel—
And Joe says the teachers are swine.

page 24

Bill and Joe: It seems now we've settled the wholesale deal, We're back in the retail line!

Bill: This is awfully rotten!

Joe: Disgusting, Bill!

Both: We have done our little bit.

Bill: As a matter of fact, I'm already quite ill!

Joe: For myself, I'm not feeling just fit.

Bill: Yet if they rob us of our beer—

Joe: Deny we make New Zealand pay—

Both: O come what may, why should we fear?—We are pals to our dying day!

Returned Soldiers' Demands.

Question: What has war done for democracy?
Answer: The war has done for democracy.

—Child's Guide to Patriotism.

We have a little club—
The R.S.A. is its pet name—
'Tis a little 'Sociation
That has quite a little fame;
And that little 'Sociation
Finds with growing mild alarm—
Another bit of land wouldn't do us any harm.
Another bit of land, another bit of land, another bit of land,
Just to make a little farm.
Another bit of land, another bit of land, another bit of land,
Wouldn't do us any harm!

And some really sultry artists
Were the men who went out first—
For they didn't get the shekels
When the money bags were burst.
No, they didn't get the shekels
When we jolted Massey's arm.
So another quid a week wouldn't do us any harm.
Another quid a week, another quid a week, another quid a week
Wouldn't do us any harm!

Educationalists' Demands.

"Some to whom Heav'n in wit has been profuse,
Want as much more to turn it to its use."

—Pope.

Things we know
Were long ago.
We want more screw;
Just see how hard we work!
If you but knew
How much some people shirk
Then you would see
(And surely then you'd agree!)
We've kept on teaching and still are preaching
page 25 Pitched overboard,
We thank the Lord.
We want more cash,
And we want it right now,
Else we go smash
And to the big bow-wow!
Now, see here, Ward,
We really cannot afford
You more trips
On ships
Without a rise in our pay.

Labour Party's Demands.

"A Pacificist believes in the abolition of war,
A Militarist in the establishment of permanent peace."

—A Child's Guide to Patriotism.

Everybody ought to know
Socialism's all the go!
The first step is, O, so simple,
Follows quick as smile on dimple—
State control of all we know,
State control of all we know,
State control of all that's working, shirking, State
Control of everything—
Everybody ought to know
That this really should be so.

Bolsheviki.

"Poins, Poins, these be noisome fellows."—Shakspeare.

We are the Bolsheviks!
We are the Bolsheviks!
We're out to raise the devil everywhere—
(Shaking fists)
"Frustrate the knavish tricks,
Confound the polities"
Of old John Bull, Bill Massey and Joe Ward—tear their hair!
(Joyously)
So on a lamp we'll string
You up and let you swing
And as you gently dangle in the breeze
You'll wish—you might wish wuss—
You had been born a Russ.
But now go down—down, you lubbers, on your knees (threatening), on your knees!
Thumbs up for the Bolsheviks!

page 27

Run-Through Chorus (IV).

Lo, the Spartan strength has vanished, and men think that they have banished
From their minds the spell of priestly rite;
So they burst the chains that bind them, leave their slaving days behind them,
And the scales fall straightway from their eyes!
They have tipped their altars over and made every man a rover
And a pirate on the Roman Main!
Lo, they set a puking babe on a course of Jos. McCabe—
And man is their God once again.
Though the monks are done, and have said their say,
Still our eyes are closed to the coming "Day."

But since men unaided falter, soon they raise anew the altar—
And the Dollar is the object they revere!
Lo, the modern Hur and Aaron, with the covetousest glare on.
Supporting on each hand the Prophet-eer!
From the Plute that hoards the wheat to the loafer on the street.
It's the Dollar that has got 'em in its hold:
Tisn't Moses, but it's Ike, the prophet that they like,
And the serpent isn't copper, but it's gold.
Still the days run on and the Dollars away,
'And our eyes are closed to the coming "Day."

The Dawn.

The sound of conflict dies away,
And with the increasing dawn,
The warmth, the promise of the day—
A great new hope is born!
The light that shone in dying eyes
In yonder scene appears—
Their wisdom come to make us wise
And light the coming years!

Chorus:
Glory upon glory coming days shall see!
Truth in all her beauty thorned and crowned shall be;
Freedom in her mountains shall her race increase,
Love shall teach the freemen all whose ways are peace!

Chorus:
Beloved, written in the dawn,
A better world shall rise!
The strength of sacrifice, newborn.
In those it succoured, make them wise;
A new life, purged in, battle heat,
Inform society;
In every human breast shall beat
The pulse of Liberty!

Imperfect Peace.

"And the earth was filled with violence."

All: Three doughty moderns here you see—
Japhetrow's Peace Society—
Embarked as Henry Ford might be—
Our Ark a model Tin-lizzie ! (Honk! Honk!)
Shem: The Bolsheviks were out to smash!
Ham: The horrible Hun to biff and bash!
Japh.: I'll keep an eye upon the cash!
All: Japhetrow's Peace Society.

Japh.: My father sailed the "Mayflower" Tub,
Ham: His great, grandfather kept a Pub;
Shem: His earlier forebears used the Club
To keep the peace 'f antiquity.
Japh.: Ah, man. they were pugnacious men!
They taught Japhetrow that the pen
Would never keep (while men were men)
The world safe for Democracy!

Ham: The war is over! now I'll gorge
Myself in spoil till you may forge
From Teuton Ham a Tab-loid George!
All: Behold rewarded piety!
Ham: My resolution's undestroyed,
Intentions all quite unalloyed,—
Yet I've inside an aching void
Unfilled by this society!

page 29

Shem: Now pray, dear people, don't assume
We disagree, if our new broom
Does not sweep well, but strews the room
With severed straws—
All: Quite litterly!
Shem: If 'neath the Turkish carpets fall
Some dynamite—it's naught—for all
That matters, is this: that we sweep!
All: The war god weeps most bitterly!

All: Three modern Peacemakers behold!
We'll keep the peace till we grow old,
And when the stone on us is rolled
We leave the Peace Society!
Shem: Have we, of life, think you, long lease?
Ham: Never till Peace Societies cease!
Japh.: Though we're Society more than Peace!
All: Still it's a great Society!

Going Up.

"What I aspired to be
And was not, comforts me."

—Browning.

We're on our way
Up to the Promised Land.
It is The Day, you down there lend a hand,
And set 'us true on the course to the source
Where by force, where! where!
(Can't you stop your pushing down there).
War will cease to have the place
It did before (we've washed the Kaiser's face).
We're going up (bis.),
Like the furies madly hurled,
Seeking to reform the world.

Final Chorus.

"The night is cold,
Alas, it matters little;
The end is near
The tale is nearly told.

"Should Auld Acquaintance be Forgot,"

Air: "The Old Brigade."

Just one more stave and the song is done—
A stave for the olden time;
One age is past, and the age to come
Is the age of the golden prime.
So praise we the men who have passed away,
Who hold to a legend bold—
Whatever a sordid world may say,
Wisdom is more than gold!

page 30

Chorus:
So when we are singing of College,
Singing the songs of old,
Think of the past,
Hold to the last,
That it's wisdom that's more than gold!

For this is the burden of the world
Which it speaketh day by day,
Though many a worldly lip be curled
With a sneer that it does not pay:
In our ears is the voice of a Mammon age,
In our hearts is a tale that's old,
The tale of our garnered heritage—
The Wisdom that's more than gold!