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Victoria College Capping Carnival. Town Hall Thursday, June 26, 1913

Final Chorus.—Act I

page 17

Final Chorus.—Act I.

Now we've subjugated man,
We've nothing else to do,
So we order him around,
And dock his monthly screw.
We have organised a Club,
On Savage Student lines,
And we've had to raise a sub.
To pay our members' fines.
But last night the news came through,
Of a discovery,
For a straying Aeroplane,
Has found a new countree.
Within the men are dominant,
And women are oppressed,
So now we're off by Zeppelin,
To burst this little nest.

So off to Atlantis,
We're going to sail,
Right up into heaven,
Leave at half-past seven.
Don't mind the weather,
We shall not fail,
To see that old Compton's jumped on,
For telling stories he shocked our boys.
I need hardly mention
It is our intention
To capture those false men,
And bring them back,
So keep your eye
Upon the sky,
And follow our track.

Students are requested to support our advertisers, and also the following, who helped us in the Procession : Blake and Carlisle, J. J. Curtis and Co., Ltd., Munt, Cottrell and Co., Ltd., N.Z and Colonial Carrying Co., Ltd., N.Z. Express Co., Ltd., O'Brien and Co., and H. Somerville; also Mr. J. E. Fitzgerald, Mr. Jameson, and N. Hornig and Co.

"Horses ran on the racecourse, and won as a matter of course,
I lost a tribe of money, backing the other horse."

—"The Baron's Early Days" (MacGill).

"The harvest of my oats is overdue."Ibid.

The Standard Insurance is a purely New Zealand concern, therefore support it. Office, Featherston Street, behind Kirkcaldie & Stains. Tel. 186.

page 18

Interval: Capping Songs.

Eos Laudamus.

Air: "The Glenworple Highlanders."


"For they are jolly good fellows."

We students have a body of professors gay and glad;
From lengthy James to little Tom, they never make us sad.
And we sit and listen nightly (Oh ! patient undergrad!)
To the Profs, of Victoria College.
Hear Easter talk of H2O and Wilson prate of trade,
While John descants on Scipio or the puns that Horace made,
Or on Hannibal at Trasimene or Rankin at Port Said.
At Victoria College.

Chorus :
Shout for our Profs., they are all splendid men,
Better advisers never wielded pen.
Deep-thinking, learned, and kind-hearted men

Vivant Professores.


Chorus :
Hear Mac. on education unsectarian and free,
Or on competitions that will be a boon to such as we,
Or on Anglo-Saxon grammar—very "expedeeshusly"
Not all at Victoria College.
Read Kirk upon Eugenics, he'll convert you to it straight.
We've no Prof. of Calisthenics, but of course it's not too late.
For if a Prof. for cooking, why not one to teach you skate
At Victoria College.


Now Davy talks of x and y and number values true,
And he'll prove to you conclusively that one and one make two.
If you do not know his notes your terms' exam, you'll not get through
At Victoria College.

The Standard Insurance isa purely New Zealand concern, therefore support it. Office Featherston Street, behind Kirkcaldie and Stains. Tel. 186.

page 19

Chorus :
While Von will spout most learnedly of French and German plays,
Or of little recollections of his own young student days.
You forget your own vexations as upon his smile you gaze
At Victoria College.


Chorus :
Attend to Scotchy Adamson—be sure you take his notes—
As his gentle whisper through the air seraphically floats;
You buckle down to Roman Law and button up your coats
At Victoria College.
And Jimmy Garrow circulates his lectures by the score,
And he questions you around the class, but always "asks for more"
While his State-school methods make you bless the day you took up law
At Victoria College.


Chorus :
Prof. Lady next who talks to you of various machines—
Of Leyden jars, electroscopes—you see them in your dreams.
The Debating Club's enamoured of his intellectual schemes
For Victoria College.
Then last, not least, our little Tom, of Cricket Club renown,
Once the Chairman of the Prof. Board, and the gamest "half' in town,
At his logic and phychology your brain goes up and down
At Victoria College.


Air: "The Top o' the Morning to You."

Oh, I've been to the feast of the glittering East,
I have nobbed with kings afar,
With E-nuts I have banded, and once I was stranded
With Eich on an alien bar.
In the councils of State and the halls of the great,
I have toiled for my baccy and grub;
I've a tropical thirst and been frequently nursed
By the boss of the handiest pub.

page 20

But give me the glamour of old,
The magic no ballad has told.
What a glory in the story
Memory's tablets unfold!
Those lectures on Caesar's decease!
That quest of the glistening Fleece !
I've often thought what waste of Art
When Phidias sculptured in Greece!

There we read how Aeneas, for lack of a he-ass,
The night of the horse-show at Troy,
Made an excellent prad for his elderly dad,
On that picky-back ride out of Troy.
But I sigh for the blaze of the westering days,
And the joy of the hovering dark,
When we sauntered from Coll. to a suitable knoll,
And inspected the seats in the Park.

Are the girlies at Home on the trail
With chloride of lime by the pail,—
Not explosive, just corrosive,—
Guaranteed never to fail ?
Are the sweet little things on the trail
Of a neat little sentence in gaol?
Of course, you know, it's just to show
Contempt for His Majesty's mail.

Is that p'litical weed of chameleon creed,
Who changes his views into gold,
Still the thorn in the side of the Government's pride ?
What tenure of land does he hold ?
Does he go to Australia with flaunting regalia,
Play tennis whenever he can ?
Is he right in the boat for the feminine vote ?
Do they christen him 'Eartful Dan ?

Oh, never abuse at his views,
They're colored with various hues.
Next election, sad dejection !
Rather not be in his shoes !
He's making a bid to be spry,
If you think he's inclined to be fly,
Of course, you know, it's just to show
How high he could fly if he'd try.

"Fine fellows, fine fellows. Pity they drink."

Compton on the k-nuts.